Transportation jokes
How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?
Simple. All in the ashtray.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
The first trains were often derailed. They had a bad track record.
What do we want? Plane noises!
When do we need it? Neeooooooowwwww!
You can sink the Titanic like you can drive a bike. Not a joke.
Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.
What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?
I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.
Your hairline goes so far back that cars on a highway don't know which way to turn.
What did the traffic light say to the truck?
"Don't look, I'm about to change!"
A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.
What is long, yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Tonight, on Top Gear!
James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!
Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!
And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
What's the difference between me and a bus?
I'm not on fire...
Q: Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
A: She got hit by a bus.
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.
What do you call a nun on a bike?
Virgin Mobile.
What is the difference between runners and my car?
My car is still running.
If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.