Transportation

Transportation jokes

Congestion

A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.

Bus

What is long, yellow and can't swim?

A bus full of children.

Blonde

Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.

The brunette brings canteens of water.

The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.

The blonde somehow rips off the car door.

The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"

To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."

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  • Bus

    What's the difference between me and a bus?

    I'm not on fire...

    Kidnapping

    I heard there was a kidnapping.

    Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.

    It was his father's friend who was a priest.

    He was just bringing him to church.

    Car

    If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.

    Raincoat

    You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"

    Grandpa

    I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like all the passengers on the plane he was flying.

    Chicken

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Because he wanted to get to the other side.

    Frog

    Why did the frog take the bus to work today?

    His car got toad away.

    Chicken

    Jimmy: Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Joe: Why?

    Jimmy: To get to the idiot’s house.

    Jimmy: Knock knock.

    Joe: Who’s there?

    Jimmy: It’s the chicken.