Transportation jokes
Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.
What did the traffic light say to the truck?
"Don't look, I'm about to change!"
What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?
I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.
The first trains were often derailed. They had a bad track record.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Memes
How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?
Simple. All in the ashtray.
What is long, yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Tonight, on Top Gear!
James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!
Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!
And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
Q: Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
A: She got hit by a bus.
Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?
Because he's always calling shotgun.
What's the difference between me and a bus?
I'm not on fire...
What do you call a nun on a bike?
Virgin Mobile.
Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.
Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
It gets toad away!
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
*Titanic was sinking.*
Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?
Captain: Two miles.
Passenger: Which way are we going?
Captain: Down.
Blind people driving on the highway would be the world's biggest, and shortest game of bumper cars!
Why couldn’t the orange cross the road? Because it ran out of juice.