Transportation jokes
A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.
What do we want? Plane noises!
When do we need it? Neeooooooowwwww!
What is long, yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Tonight, on Top Gear!
James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!
Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!
And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
Memes
What's the difference between me and a bus?
I'm not on fire...
Q: Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
A: She got hit by a bus.
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
*Titanic was sinking.*
Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?
Captain: Two miles.
Passenger: Which way are we going?
Captain: Down.
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 80 mph? Its butt.
My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
Blind people driving on the highway would be the world's biggest, and shortest game of bumper cars!
Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.
Most orphans were born on the highway. It’s where most accidents [happen].
Why couldn’t the orange cross the road? Because it ran out of juice.
What's white at the front and black at the back? A bus.
Yo momma's teeth so yellow, when she smiled at traffic, all the cars slowed down.
Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.
Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”