I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus. I lost my job as a bus driver.
I need a hug.
*hugs train*
This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.
But, it's like a plane pizza.
Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.
Yo mama so fat that when she tried to get on the train, it said, "Weight limit passed, everyone get off!"
What did the bomber say to the jet?
"Sorry bro, I gotta bomb."
*WAIT NO-*
Gays are always welcome on my Redneck Party Bus. NOT!
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.
I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!
Are you a highway? Because I wanna lay on you.
What brands do people in wheelchairs wear?
Michelin.
If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?
My heart is like a plane.
It crashes every once in a while.
What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike?
Run over.
A friend of mine told me this joke a long time ago and I have never forgotten it.
A worm was crawling over a train track, and a train ran over him and cut off his ass. The worm turned around to get the piece of his ass back and another train ran over him and cut off his head.
BAD IDEA and a lesson to us all.
NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER A PIECE OF ASS!! LMAO (literally, kind of)( pretty sure you get it)
Me: Opens the window to get some fresh air.
Everyone else on the plane: 😟...😱
Your mum is so fat that when she wore a yellow coat people called taxi!
Race car backwards is race car.
Race car sideways is how Paul Walker died.
Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
