Transportation jokes
Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.
Your hairline goes so far back that cars on a highway don't know which way to turn.
What did the traffic light say to the truck?
"Don't look, I'm about to change!"
What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?
I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.
A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.
Memes
What do we want? Plane noises!
When do we need it? Neeooooooowwwww!
What is long, yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Tonight, on Top Gear!
James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!
Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!
And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
What's the difference between me and a bus?
I'm not on fire...
Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?
Because he's always calling shotgun.
Q: Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
A: She got hit by a bus.
What is the difference between runners and my car?
My car is still running.
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive.
Blind people driving on the highway would be the world's biggest, and shortest game of bumper cars!
Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.
Most orphans were born on the highway. It’s where most accidents [happen].
Why are camels known as ships of the desert?
Because they’re full of Arab semen.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
What do you call a nun on a bike?
Virgin Mobile.