Transportation jokes
A rich girl is flying on his helicopter when suddenly it crashes, killing everyone. What was the last thing that went through her head?
The helicopter blade!
What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
Why did the chicken want to cross the road? Because he was suicidal and wanted to get hit by a car.
I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"
What's grey and can't fly?
A parking lot.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
What do you call a bus full of white people?
A TWINKiE!!!
What do you call a flying octopus?
An octocopter! 🚁
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Why did the baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to the chicken.
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
How do bees 🐝 get to school?
They ride the school buzz!
Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.
Your hairline goes so far back that cars on a highway don't know which way to turn.
You can sink the Titanic like you can drive a bike. Not a joke.
What did the traffic light say to the truck?
"Don't look, I'm about to change!"
What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?
I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.
The first trains were often derailed. They had a bad track record.
What do we want? Plane noises!
When do we need it? Neeooooooowwwww!
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.