Transportation jokes
I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"
Why did the chicken want to cross the road? Because he was suicidal and wanted to get hit by a car.
What's grey and can't fly?
A parking lot.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
What do you call a bus full of white people?
A TWINKiE!!!
Memes
If you know you know lmao
What do you call a flying octopus?
An octocopter! 🚁
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Your mum is so fat that when she wore a yellow coat people called taxi!
Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"
How do bees 🐝 get to school?
They ride the school buzz!
Why did the baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to the chicken.
The first trains were often derailed. They had a bad track record.
You can sink the Titanic like you can drive a bike. Not a joke.
Your hairline goes so far back that cars on a highway don't know which way to turn.
Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.
What did the traffic light say to the truck?
"Don't look, I'm about to change!"
What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?
I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.
What do we want? Plane noises!
When do we need it? Neeooooooowwwww!