Transportation jokes
What is long, yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
A blonde crashes an airplane.
Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?
Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.
Officer: *face palms self*
Also officer: Here's your sign.
What did the bus driver say to the nut 🥜?
"Where do you live?"
What did the traffic light say to the truck?
"Don't look, I'm about to change!"
Life as an elevator has its ups and downs.
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Q: Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
A: She got hit by a bus.
Kill yourself in any way. I'm killing myself the HIGHway.
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.
Why are camels known as ships of the desert?
Because they’re full of Arab semen.
If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.
Why did the van cross the road?
To get to the school for the little kids.
My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!
Call me an elevator, because I let people down.
Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.
Friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand, so it can't stand up.
Me: Nah, it's just two tired.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get the Chinese Daily!
Get it? I don't either--I get the New York Times!
Why did the cat cross the road?
To make a catastrophy on the road.
What road goes all the way to the sky? A highway.