Transportation jokes
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
When you got on an airplane, the flight attendant asked which hairline you were flying with.
Why did the rapper cross the road?
To get to the other side of the TRACK.
I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.
Why don't rappers use the subway?
Because they don't want to miss their next rhyme.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
Why are camels known as ships of the desert?
Because they’re full of Arab semen.
What is the difference between runners and my car?
My car is still running.
Why did the rapper become a pilot?
Because he wanted to take his flow to new heights!
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen! Ugh!”
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and angrily sits down. She says to a man next to her “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
Why did the frog take the bus to work?
His car got toad.
Why did the rapper take the bus to the studio?
Because their car ran out of RHYME.
Why were the rappers late for their flight?
They forgot to pack.
What's a rapper's favorite type of car?
A RAPMOBILE!
What do you call a nun on a bike?
Virgin Mobile.
What do you call a rapper who's also a PILOT?
Fly Guy
Why did the rapper cross the road?
To get to the studio on the other side.
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
Sully: Praised after landing in the Hudson River.
Garuda Indonesia 421:
Sully's co-pilot:
I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.
Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.