Transportation jokes
I drove my new rainbow-colored car today. For some reason, it wouldn't go straight.
Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.
To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."
Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
Yo mama so fat that when she tried to get on the train, it said, "Weight limit passed, everyone get off!"
Today was a really bad day. My mother-in-law was hit by a cab AND I lost my job as a cab driver!
Why did the blonde stare at the Ford?
Because it said, "Focus."
Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
What did the plane say to the Twin Towers?
Nothing, planes can't talk.
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo? Cause there were only 4 trucks.
Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?
Doctor: To the morgue.
Man: But I’m not dead yet.
Doctor: Are we there yet?
Yo mama so fat that when she gets in the truck, it breaks.
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
What word starts with “F” and ends in “uck”?
Firetruck.
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
Yo mama so thick, they need an aircraft carrier to take her places.
A blonde starts a new job at a local car dealership when a wealthy gentleman comes in looking for a spacious car for his large family. The blonde is excited as she gets commission, so eagerly shows him the most expensive SUVs.
The gentleman has a good look around before saying to the blonde, "It looks perfect.... But cargo space?" To which she instantly replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, sir, car only for road."
Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled by a boat?
Skip.
Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.