Transportation

Transportation Jokes

Car

I drove my new rainbow-colored car today. For some reason, it wouldn't go straight.

Dildo

Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.

To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."

Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

Yo mama

Yo mama so fat that when she tried to get on the train, it said, "Weight limit passed, everyone get off!"

Mother-in-law

Today was a really bad day. My mother-in-law was hit by a cab AND I lost my job as a cab driver!

Kid

Why aren’t Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?

Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.

Plane

What did the plane say to the Twin Towers?

Nothing, planes can't talk.

Mexican

Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo? Cause there were only 4 trucks.

Doctor

Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?

Doctor: To the morgue.

Man: But I’m not dead yet.

Doctor: Are we there yet?

Mama

Yo mama so thick, they need an aircraft carrier to take her places.

Blonde

A blonde starts a new job at a local car dealership when a wealthy gentleman comes in looking for a spacious car for his large family. The blonde is excited as she gets commission, so eagerly shows him the most expensive SUVs.

The gentleman has a good look around before saying to the blonde, "It looks perfect.... But cargo space?" To which she instantly replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, sir, car only for road."

Terrorist

Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?

A. He marks the camels that kick.

Pilot

You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.

Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.

You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"

Man

What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled by a boat?

Skip.

Kid

Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.