Transportation jokes
What do you call a rapper who's also a PILOT?
Fly Guy
Why did the rapper cross the road?
To get to the studio on the other side.
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
Sully: Praised after landing in the Hudson River.
Garuda Indonesia 421:
Sully's co-pilot:
I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.
Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"
What's one thing that you can say about a train, but not your girlfriend?
Why was the rapper always late?
Because he had to drop his kids off at the Rhyme Bus.
What did Rapboat's mom say to Rapboat?
"Is it in yet?"
Why is a rap boat like a dog?
They both get off sniffing assholes.
What plate goes to Bikini Bottom?
Malaysia Flight 370.
Person: Did you hear about the black chick on the front of the bus?
Friend: No?
Person: Exactly.
If you think Tracy Latimer's murder was in any way justified, put on your helmet 'cause you're about to miss the short bus.
If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)
Witches do not wear undies. Why? To get a better grip on their broomsticks.
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive!
A bus full of ugly people is driving down the street. The bus crashes and everyone goes to heaven. They see Saint Peter, and he feels bad for them and grants them one wish before they go into heaven. The first one says, "I wish to be attractive." The second one says the same.
Meanwhile, the 3rd person in line is giggling and snickering and laughing while Saint Peter is granting wishes. Curiously, he asks why he is laughing. He says, "I was going to wish that they turned ugly again."
Why can lesbians not drive cars?
They always strap the wrong thing on.
Why did the baby cross the road? The car seat wasn’t strapped in.
My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her. Instead, I just went to the top of the water.