A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970, and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband.
She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.
Wait, what? Was he actually her husband?
He was a Christian, so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.
Wait, what? The Bible doesn't say that.
Actually yes, it does, and marital rape was legal until 1990.
WAIT WHAT? That's not funny.
I'll tell ya what's funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.
Why do priests dunk babies in water at their baptism? Because it's important to wash your sex toys.
A 10 year old girl lays in her bed and excitedly waits for Santa to come. When Santa eventually comes she giggles, shivers, and orgasms.
Finally, as a special thank you, she sucks off Santa’s wet cock.
Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.
He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.
Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?
Orphan: I don't know what you mean.
Me: There is no one to give a present.
Before you leave that marriage, remember that one innocent 🐐 goat was killed for your traditional marriage. 😔
Why are Santa's balls so big?
Because he comes once a year.
How do Ephippians celebrate their kids' first birthday?
Put a flower on their gravestone.
My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa? Cause they make the toys.
Why do orphans hate Christmas?
Father Christmas isn’t a thing.
You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"
How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?
Because they're the ones who made the toys.
Alabama.
Every time there's a family reunion, a baby is born 9 months later.
Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?
On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!
Why can't orphans have a Christmas list? Because they can't give it to their parents to tell Santa.
How do you name an Asian child?
Ring the doorbell.
What do people get for Christmas when they behave badly? They get coal. Why coal, you're probably saying, because the true meaning is cucks of all kinds.
