I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.
Why do priests dunk babies in water at their baptism? Because it's important to wash your sex toys
Before you leave that marriage, remember that one innocent 🐐 goat was killed for your traditional marriage. 😔
How do Ephippians celebrate their kids' first birthday?
Put a flower on their gravestone.
My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookie and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple kool-aid.
Why don't Chinese people believe in Santa? Cause they make the toys.
Why do orphans hate Christmas?
Father Christmas isn’t a thing.
You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"
How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?
Because they're the ones who made the toys.
Alabama.
Every time there's a family reunion, a baby is born 9 months later.
Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?
On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!
How do you name an Asian child?
Ring the doorbell.
Why do Indians have a red dot on their head?
Because they're recording.
How do Chinese people get their names? Their parent's throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes,
Englishman: We named our son George since he was born on Saint George's Day.
Irishman: We called our daughter Valentine since she was born on Valentine's Day.
Scotsman: We named our son Pancake because he was born on Pancake Day!
Orphans' calendar consists of 362 days. Why?
Because they don't got homecoming, fathers day, and mothers day
Everyone: So, wait, let me get this straight. Feminists want to cancel Father's Day because it is offensive to single mothers.
Feminists: Correct.
Everyone: Then what the f*** is the point of Mother's Day?
My relatives always teased me during weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"
But they stopped when I did the same to them during funerals.
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
