How do Chinese people name their children? They drop a tin can down a flight of stairs and call them the sound that's made.
What's the only thing Mexicans can unwrap on Christmas? Tamales.
When Santa asks you what you want for Christmas, then says "ho ho ho," say, "Yes, please."
What’s my favorite Islamic Holiday... 9/11.
Santa was asked to describe Mrs. Claus in three words. His response was, "Ho ho ho."
A young boy is in a tepee with his father, just after his sister's naming ceremony. Curious to how it works, he asks his dad, "Father, why is my sister's name Tulip?"
His father responds, "That is her name because a tulip was the first thing she saw when she first opened her eyes."
The boy was still puzzled. "What about big brother Sparrow?"
"His name is Sparrow because a sparrow landed on him when he first began walking."
The boy finally asked how he was named. "Well, we decided to name you the same way as your sister."
The boy nods with understanding, "Thank you, father."
"No problem, Two-Dogs-Fucking."
How to Chinese people name their kids? - They roll down a coin down the staircase and it says, ching chang chong...
My friends used to poke me at weddings and say, "You're next."
So I started poking them at funerals and saying, "You're next" to my friends.
How do you start an Ethiopian rave?
Stick toast to the ceiling.
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.
What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
Why don't Amish people water ski?
Because their horses would drown.
