In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?
They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.
Tradition Jokes
What type of tea do you drink with the Queen of England?
Royal-tea.
What is the best Christmas present ever? A broken drum! You just can't beat it!
What do you call an angry reindeer? RUDE-olph!
What is Santa's favorite breakfast? Snowflakes!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis!
How come Christmas is one time? Because it is so nice!
Why can’t orphans celebrate Christmas?
Because they have no family.
Jesus walked, so Mohammad can fly.
Americans won't have a Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Why not? They sent their turkey to the White House.
A monk asks the priest if it's okay to kiss a nun.
The priest replies, "Just as long as you don't get in the habit!"
Why do brides wear white?
So they match the kitchen appliances.
Q: How do Chinese people name their kids?
A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make.
"I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'"
How do Asian people name their children?
They throw a pan down the stairs.
What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.
Christmas special
Me: Can you describe Mrs. Claus in 3 words? Santa: Ho ho ho.
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.
How do Chinese people name their children?
They drop a tin can down a flight of stairs and call them the sound that's made.
What's the only thing Mexicans can unwrap on Christmas? Tamales.
When Santa asks you what you want for Christmas, then says "ho ho ho," say, "Yes, please."
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.
What’s my favorite Islamic Holiday... 9/11.
Santa Claus walks up to three little girls and says, "Ho, ho, ho!"
