Toy jokes

I would tell you my jokes about pogs, but they would eventually get too boar-ing.

Sex dolls are alive in the Toy Story universe.

Dad: "I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage."

Kid: "Why are you doing that?"

Dad: "So you won't get bored there."

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."

Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."

So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.

Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"

The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."

Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy as a child?

Hot Wheels.

One day, an orphan bought a boomerang. He threw it, and it didn’t come back.

What did the orphan get for Christmas?

Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.

What do boobs and toys have in common?

Kids end up playing with toys, but adults end up playing with boobs.

My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. He said, "Get your paws off my toy!"

Why do people name a kid "Rob?" Because they want him to rob a bank so they could adopt new kids to lock in their basement for a late-night toy.

I like playing with Yoyos, because at least they always come back.

When the Lego box says 6-99 years but you eat it in 20 minutes.

I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.

This is my fidget spinner, I got it in my Easter basket.

My girlfriend is like Toys R Us.

She does not exist.

I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.

So I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.

So THEN I bought a LED whistle but it steel wooden LED me whistle.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Your father.

What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?

My dad came back!

Q: Why was Barbie kicked out of the toy box?

A: She sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie to me!"