Toy jokes
A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.
They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.
What do you call dolls in a line?
Barbie queuing.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
If you spin a fidget spinner, You'll end up spinning it too fast. When you end up spinning it too fast, it will make you fly away. When you fly away, you'll end up in a tree. When you end up in a tree, you'll see that your friends are hanging out without you. When you see that your friends are hanging out without you, you'll run away in the woods because you're sad. When you ran away in the woods, you'll see a bear. When you see a bear, it will chase you. When the bear chases you, you'll build a fort to protect yourself. When you build a fort to protect yourself, you then notice you're lonely. You'll become friends with the bear. When you become friends with a bear, you'll start to act like a bear. When you start to act like a bear, you will become a bear.
DO NOT BECOME A BEAR! NEVER PLAY WITH A FIDGET SPINNER!
My boss had the heart of a child.
In a jar. On his desk.
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
I would tell you my jokes about pogs, but they would eventually get too boar-ing.
Sex dolls are alive in the Toy Story universe.
Dad: "I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage."
Kid: "Why are you doing that?"
Dad: "So you won't get bored there."
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."
Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."
So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.
Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"
The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy as a child?
Hot Wheels.
One day, an orphan bought a boomerang. He threw it, and it didn’t come back.
What did the orphan get for Christmas?
Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
Kids end up playing with toys, but adults end up playing with boobs.
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. He said, "Get your paws off my toy!"
Why do people name a kid "Rob?" Because they want him to rob a bank so they could adopt new kids to lock in their basement for a late-night toy.
I like playing with Yoyos, because at least they always come back.
When the Lego box says 6-99 years but you eat it in 20 minutes.