Toy jokes
Why didn't the teddy bear want to go to the gym?
Because he didn't want to get ripped.
What's the difference between a girl and a toy? There is no difference because you play with both anyway.
There were once these two twins. One twin, no matter what happened, was always pissed off, while the other one was always happy.
This baffled scientists, so they ran an experiment on the twins to figure out what was happening. They took the angry one and left him in a room with all of the latest technology and the most expensive toys and left him overnight. When they came back, he was still grumpy. When they asked him why, he said, "None of these are actually mine, and you left me in here all night, so I'm angry!"
His explanation was reasonable, so they ran another experiment on the other kid. This time, they left him overnight in a room that was literally just filled with horse shit. When they came back to check on him the next morning, he was still smiling. When they asked him why, he said, "With all of this horse crap, there has to be a pony in here somewhere!"
What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?
"Time to hit the sack!"
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
Because he was trying to catch a boomerang.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang, because it came back unlike their parents.
When the school shooter drops his gun, and the autistic kid picks it up thinking it’s his long lost nerf gun.
There is a rich child and a poor child. The rich child invites the poor child to his house and shows him all the toys and tells him: "Look at what a beautiful radio-controlled airplane I have! You don't have it because you are poor!" The poor child answers: "You're right, it's very nice, but I have one thing that you don't have!" The rich child then invites him into the garden and shows him the swimming pool, the trampoline, and all the other games that can be done outdoors and says to the poor child: "Look at that beautiful swimming pool I have! It is very big; you don't have it because you are poor!" And the poor child says: "Beautiful, it is really beautiful! But one thing that you don't have." So the rich child feels bad. He says: "Wait, but I'm rich! How is it possible? I have everything I want because I'm rich. Why do you have something that I don't have?" And the poor child says: "I have cancer!"
Why don't Chinese kids celebrate Christmas?
Because they make the toys.
if a toy from Toy Story died, the kid wouldn't know, and the other toys would just have to watch as their kid played with the corpse.
A couple has sex in the dark every single night.
One night, the wife gets curious about what goes on, so they start f...ing, and she flicks the light on. When she flicks the light on, she catches him with a dildo playing with her pussy. She's so mad that she started ranting and raving. The husband says, "Honey, I know you're mad, and I'll explain the toy. Just do me one favor: explain the children."
Don't worry if you think your life sucks. Just remember that people are arguing over the gender of a potato head.
What's the difference between Madeline Mikan and a boomerang?
Boomerangs come back.
I threw a paralyzed kid into the fireplace and called him hotwheels.
Ever wondered why Chinese kids don’t believe in Santa?
They made the toys.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually comes back.
What did the orphan's friend give him for his birthday?
Lego, so he can build a home.
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
Because they come back.
My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.
DAD: I'm bringing your toys to the orphanage.
SON: Why?
DAD: You're going to need them.