Worst Jokes Ever
A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.
A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He can't run home.
What's the difference between 63 cents and Princess Diana?
It's easier to scrape up 63 cents.
Hello everyone, to the first Hollow Knight meeting!
What is a Karen called in Europe?
An American.
Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.
Orphan: My parents!
Me: You know that word?
Your forehead is so big that it could carry the passengers of the Titanic.
Have you ever tried anal bleaching?
It really helps assholes lighten up.
Mom says: "I will go kill myself."
Me: *stays quiet cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls*
Some time later me fighting with my mom:
Me to my mom: "Oh, yea than kill me!"
Mom: "What the hell did you just say? I don't want to hear it from you again!"
Lesson?
So it's OK for adults to say "I'll kill myself" but not teens/kids!?!?
I am a fat girl.
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want—he can’t hear you.
I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"
"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.
At gym class today, my friend made this song:
🎵 I’m a Barbie girl, I am fantastic, my boobs are plastic!
22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.
How many orphans does it take to change a light bulb?
Obviously more than three because my basement is still dark.
What did Cinderella wear to the beach?
Glass flippers.
Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?
Because they are not going to work.
Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln
Did y'all ever hear about the great thunder crash of September 11th?