Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the Jew get an electric car?
Because he was afraid of the gas.
Vegan is actually an old Indian word for "bad hunter."
What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?
A ventriloquist.
Want my cookie? Come and get it... 😭
What does the Trump administration use instead of emails? Alternative fax.
Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?
Because every Lidl helps.
What's Christian and holey?
JFK.
As a son, I like sports, and I watch sports with my mom. So one day, we were looking at football. My mom asked me who makes the most money. I said the quarterback.
My mom told me I'm going to get a quarterback as my new boyfriend, and it'll be your new stepfather. A week later, my mom went out. I came home, and I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said, "What's going on?" My mom said, "Look, my new boyfriend and new stepfather is the high school quarterback." My mom said, "See, mission accomplished." I said, "Yeah, job well done."
If you play the movie "Jaws" in reverse, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.
One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.
Kid 1: Guys, stop making 9/11 jokes. My dad died in 9/11.
Kid 2: Sorry, I didn't know.
Kid 1: He was the best fighter pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
Are you a highway? Because I wanna lay on you.
Wife: I’m pregnant.
Husband: Hi pregnant, I’m dad.
Wife: No, you’re not.
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
What's the similarity between an emotional and a leaf?
The emo is still hanging.
Spongebob's teeth upside down is the twin towers.
Spongebob: 9 letters
Squarepants: 11 letters
Spongebob did 9/11.
My birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
If Satan is the devil, he's pretty sus.
What is a geographical discovery? Little Johnny found his geography homework undone.
Jesus will be history when I realize he's behind me.