Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.
Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.
Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.
Yo mama so fat, she eats with three utensils: a knife, spoon, and a forklift.
What's the difference between an orphan's parents and his boomerang?
One of them actually came back.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
A: Because they come back, unlike their parents.
What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?
A ventriloquist.
Vegan is actually an old Indian word for "bad hunter."
Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...
"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"
I suppose that was a fair compromise!
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
Why can't Asian people use a telephone?
Because they might wing the wrong number.
Why was Helen Keller truly an inspiration?
She learned how to read and write despite being from Alabama!
Me: I saw your parents yesterday.
Orphan girl: Where?
Me: The coffin was still open.
What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?
An airstrike.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Sorry you are sneezing. Have you got a cold?
Where do walls shop?--Walmart.
Why was the short person a coward? They didn't stand up to challenges.
Husband: Honey, do you want sex?
Wife: No, thanks, I have a headache.
Husband: Is that your final answer?
Wife: Mmmmm.
Husband: Are you sure?
Wife: Yes.
Husband: No doubts?
Wife: No.
Husband staring a long time at his wife.
Husband: Okay, I wanna use my lifeline to call a friend.
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
Fat people should expect big things when they take their shirt off.