Worst Jokes Ever

I am not making a noose; I am making an unsubscribe button for life.

I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"

Has anyone alive ever died?

Is this our eternal life?

What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?

Curry in a hurry.

Give a man a plane ticket, and he’ll fly for a day.

Push a man from a plane, and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.

Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are only 5 years old, yet you know how to give great head.

Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.

What is the favorite game of an emo?

Hangman.

"Like if u cry everytime."

The orphan also had to cry because the cartels called him "homie."

789.

The Twin Towers ordered two pepperoni pizzas, but all they got was plane.

What do we find at the end of every rainbow?

The letter W.

Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.

Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!

Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"

The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"

A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"

What do Americans and Rubik's Cubes have in common?

They both have a history of separating colors.

Why do orphans never get a car?

Because their parents need to buy them one.

You shouldn't joke about 9/11. My grampa died on 9/11. He was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.

Man, I love telling jokes about orphans. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?