Worst Jokes Ever
You're so fat, when you step on a scale it says, "To be continued."
My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.
If at first you don’t succeed... then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.
I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."
Helen Keller once dated a brick wall.
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.
Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”
“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
What show do gay men watch?
"2 and a Half Men!"
Lol at this one fellas!
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.
I wish my hair was emo so it would cut itself.
What do you call Darth Vader when he dies?
A black alien.
Why do orphans like pedos? Because they have someone to call "daddy."
Who made the most money from 9/11? The US government.
What did one tower say to the other? "Damn, you looking fly!"
Why do midgets giggle when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
You're so fat, when you fall, the sidewalk cracks.
What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?
“Good evening, ladies.”
What do orphans and dinosaurs have in common?
Their parents are extinct.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor: 10 babies in one trash can.
Morbid humor: 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
Normal person: "I'm perfect!"
Goth person: "Nobody is."