Worst Jokes Ever
Wife: I’m pregnant.
Husband: Hi pregnant, I’m dad.
Wife: No, you’re not.
"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"
How did Jesus become self-sovereign?
He screws himself and becomes his own creator.
Jesus will be history when I realize he's behind me.
What's an Emo's least favorite game?
Fruit Ninja.
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
If I make fun of orphans, they will cry to their parents.
Oh wait...
Your hairline is so bad, it's not even McDonald's, it's Dixy Chicken!
Husband: Honey, do you want sex?
Wife: No, thanks, I have a headache.
Husband: Is that your final answer?
Wife: Mmmmm.
Husband: Are you sure?
Wife: Yes.
Husband: No doubts?
Wife: No.
Husband staring a long time at his wife.
Husband: Okay, I wanna use my lifeline to call a friend.
My friend died from Ligma!
Ligma balls.
I like telling jokes about orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
As a son, I like sports, and I watch sports with my mom. So one day, we were looking at football. My mom asked me who makes the most money. I said the quarterback.
My mom told me I'm going to get a quarterback as my new boyfriend, and it'll be your new stepfather. A week later, my mom went out. I came home, and I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said, "What's going on?" My mom said, "Look, my new boyfriend and new stepfather is the high school quarterback." My mom said, "See, mission accomplished." I said, "Yeah, job well done."
Why can't orphans eat chips?
'Cause they're family sized!
What did the Titanic say while sinking?
"It's going down."
If Satan is the devil, he's pretty sus.
What's a fetus' favorite gun? A micro SMG.
What is a geographical discovery? Little Johnny found his geography homework undone.
What's Christian and holey?
JFK.
In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them.
Sound familiar? 🤔
Well, in September 11th...
Why was the short person a coward? They didn't stand up to challenges.