Worst Jokes Ever
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.
He swears by it, but he’s in denial.
I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.
(Extra Cholesterol)
Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?
They hate it when you hand it to them.
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
Did you know Kurt had dandruff?
Found his head and shoulders behind the couch.
What do you call a terrorist attack in Iraq? A selfie!
Did you know that good Catholic girls like to WAP?
Yeah, they are all about Worship and Prayer.
I asked for emotional support. They handed me a mirror and said, "Talk to someone who cares."
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
Gock gock gock ghghghkghlhglhglhk.
You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
What are cheetahs' favorite chips?
Cheetah Puffs!
What do you call a selfie of an orphan? A family photo.
What did the Teacher say to the orphan?
"I am calling your parents!"
I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
Why does Michael Jackson avoid Pepsi? They gave him a hot one.
I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.