Worst Jokes Ever

Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?

Me: I Excel at it.

Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?

Me: Word.

What do you call a crazy lesbian?

Fruit Loops.

What do lesbians love to use in art class?

Scissors.

When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!

Why does the orphan have water with its cereal?

Their dad never came back with the milk.

My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.

It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police... Who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!

My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.

You're so fat, that you're fat.

If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?

Tony Abbott's career.

A Russian wedding should be called a Soviet Union.

What do you call a dead black plantation worker? Fertilizer.

I pushed a disabled kid into a fire and called him "hot wheels."

Yo mamma so fat, when she tried to sit down the chair ran away.

Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?

Friend B: Yes, why?

Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!

What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.

I would make a joke about fat people, but they already have enough on their plate.

One like = more from me to you. 👊

Your hairline so far back, it's a wide receiver for the Minnesota Vikings.

The only doctor you have is Doctor Pepper.