Worst Jokes Ever
Little Johnny walks out to the garage and sees Dad smoking a cigarette. He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have a puff of that cigarette?" Dad asks, "Well, Johnny, can your dick reach your ass?" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, no, Dad, my dick can't reach my ass." His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house.
About an hour later, Little Johnny comes back out to the garage and sees his Dad drinking a beer. He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have some of that beer?" Dad asks, "Well, Johnny, can your dick reach your ass?" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, no, Dad, my dick can't reach my ass." His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house.
About an hour later, Little Johnny comes back out to the garage with a big plate of Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies, fresh from the oven. His Dad says, "Wow, Johnny, those sure look like some good cookies. You think I can have some?" Little Johnny asks his Dad, "Well Dad, can your dick reach your ass?" His Dad scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, yes, Johnny, I do believe my dick can reach my ass." Little Johnny says, "Well, Dad, you can go FUCK yourself, cuz Mom made these cookies for me!!!"
What did the doctor say to the Chinese patient? "Sum ting wong."
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??
What's similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the fetus inside of her? They are both thinking, "Oh shit, my mom's gonna kill me."
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What do you call an emo a cappella group?
Self harmony.
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone.
It’s either really terrible news or really great news.
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap?
"You have a great singer inside you."
Where does a girl with one leg work?
IHOP.
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
The emo kid tried to high five the tree.
But the tree left him hanging.
What is a gun that Africa doesn't have? A water gun.
If an orphan tells you there's 365 days in a year, tell them for you it's only 363 days because you skip Father's Day and Mother's Day.
My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
Why do orphans go to the ancient pyramids for vacation?
In hope to find a mummy.
What do you call a mushroom 🍄 with many friends?
A fungi.
11:45 - Arrived at crime scene.
11:45 - Examined body. Signs of struggle.
11:45 - Found murder weapon in drain.
11:45 - Realized watch was broken.
Roses are red, I have a blister, holy shit did you just cum in your sister?
So 6 is scared of 7 because 7, 8, 9, but why did 10 have PTSD?
He was stuck in the middle of 9/11.