Worst Jokes Ever
I will never forget my grandfather's last words: “The fuck you doing with that knife?”
What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?
Sum Ting Wong.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping up onions, which made me cry.
Onions was a good dog.
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: ______
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a six-year-old.
How do orphans have a family reunion?
They use a Ouija board.
Teacher: What's 3 minus 1? Me: I don't know. Teacher: How about this, you have three cakes, I take one. How many cakes do you have? Me: Three. Teacher: If I take one cake from your three, what do you have? Me: Three cakes and a dead teacher.
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
Because they come back.
It's better to cum in the sink than to sink in the cum.
Q: Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
A: Because their dad is shopping for the milk.
I saw a robbery at the Apple store.
Am I an iWitness?
Your forehead is so big, it's a $20 taxi ride from your hairline to your eyebrows.
Bad Hitler puns are infuhrerating.
When you're fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now you gotta fight the suicide squad.
Why do orphans become criminals? Because they want to know what it's like to be wanted.
Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam.
Doctor: Yup.
Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger.
Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor.
If Shaq had a boat, he would name it "Freethrow," because he would never sink it.
I gave a blind kid a pistol and said it was a hairdryer.
Why do we not have female magicians? Because last time we had them, we burned them alive.