Worst Jokes Ever
Kid: "What's dark humor?"
Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."
Kid: "I am blind, Mom."
Mom: "Exactly."
What's a Parkinson's victim's least favorite song?
Taylor Swift - "Shake it Off".
Where is the cheapest gun range? Your local public school.
There's no smoke or fire without a Muslim.
If number 666 is evil, then 25.8069758011 is the root of all evil.
Why should you lose your virginity to an autistic person?
Because virginity needs to be lost with someone special.
What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altar boy.
You know a piranha can devour a small child in 30 seconds. Anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
I found out how to gain millions of followers.
Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the ladder?"
One time, Little Johnny heard his parents "wrestling" in their bed. So the next morning, he went to rape all the little girls in school. This then led to his demise.
No girls told on him, but when he grew up, he was a raper. He never stopped. In total, "little" Johnny had over 31 sons that he didn't know about. When he was sentenced to jail, he raped all the inmates despite his small figure. He was then sent to the death sentence, "eagle wing" torture style.
His parents were happy he died, and the morbid rapist was put down, never to return again. However, all the sons had his genes, including his MINDSET. They then became a cult and shot down 2014 cops, 471 military members and 72951 males and females. The kids, you ask? Only the males were spared, and taught how to operate the guns. All but 419 females were killed. They soon became the world's strongest empire. No one could stop Little Johnny's sons. NO ONE.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.
New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."
Students: "Sad"
Teacher: "Anyway, is anyone missing?"
Students: "Your parents!"
What was the last hat Princess Diana wore?
A bonnet.
Why was the orphan's first phone an iPhone X? Because it didn't have a home button.
What does a rock and a girl have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
Why are Japanese people's eyes so squinted?
Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is?
yo mama so stupid she climbed up a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.
So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂