Worst Jokes Ever
If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.
Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
Where did little Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
What did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas?
He couldn't even open it.
"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"
If my phone battery lasted as long as my relationship, I would never be able to play on my phone.
Why can't orphans celebrate Christmas?
Father Christmas left them.
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit!"
When I was a little boy, I had this dream. I was eating a giant marshmallow.
When I woke, I was being sexually abused.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
Why didn't the cows eat the lemon grass?
It made sour milk.
I'm not completely useless; I can be used as a bad example.
Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other one, "Does this taste funny to you?"
What’s the best way to make sure you don’t get COVID?
Suicide.
Your life literally is as valuable as a summer ant. I'm just gonna stomp you, you're gonna keep coming back, I'm gonna seal up all my cracks, you're gonna keep coming back, why? Cause you keep smelling the syrup, you worthless bitchass nlgga! You're gonna stay on my dick until you die. You serve no purpose in life, your purpose in life is to be on my stream sucking on my dick daily. Your purpose in life is to be in that chat blowing a dick daily. Your life is nothing, you serve ZERO purpose. You should kill yourself, NOW! And give somebody else a piece of that oxygen and ozone layer that's covered up so we can breathe inside this blue trapped bubble. Cause what are you here for? To worship me? Kill yourself! I mean that with a hundred percent with a thousand percent.
Last week a girl asked me for sex. I had to disappoint her… so I said yes.
Lol, these jokes have been heard millions of times.
I want to tell you a joke about 9/11... but I'm afraid it will be the bomb.
I don't know what an HD is, but my doctor says I have 80 of 'em'.