What’s the difference between the way you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we look through.
Worst Jokes Ever
What is the worst part about making an Asian girl squirt?
She charges you for extra sauce!
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
How do you know someone from India is a good sniper?
They have a dot in the middle of the head.
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
Your mum is so ugly she could make an onion cry.
What do you call a tall terrorist?
Osama Bin Laden.
Yo mama so fat, she stepped on earth and the earth cracked.
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
What did John Cena say to the blind kid? "You can't see me."
When you're born on 4/20/69...
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because they can’t run home.
*Titanic was sinking.*
Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?
Captain: Two miles.
Passenger: Which way are we going?
Captain: Down.
Q) What’s the difference between a baby and a sweet potato?
A) About 400 calories.
An advantage of being an orphan: the teacher can't give you any homework.
What did they call Hitler when he swam?
Adolfin.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
What is an orphan's favorite beer?
Fosters.
Yo mama so big, her belt size said "equator."
