Worst Jokes Ever
That shirt's very becoming on you.
If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 80 mph? Its butt.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway.
Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner?
They wanted some family time.
Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"
What does an orphan and Spider-Man have in common?
They have no "why home" 👹
What is a vegetarian's favorite song?
No beef.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
Christmas. Living proof arseholes exist.
What do you call an Iraqi who owns a camel and a goat?
Bisexual.
Why did Bruce Jenner cross the road?
To see how the other side felt!
How can you tell if someone Amish is an alcoholic? They keep falling off the wagon.
Did you know that good Catholic girls like to WAP?
Yeah, they are all about Worship and Prayer.
What did one orphan say to the other one?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Not Sally.
Elderly man: Can I get a discount, please? I fought in World War 2.
Cashier: Sure!
Elderly man: Danke.
I have a Twin Towers model in my room.
It got infested with jumping spiders.
Little Herobrine, I'm cumming in ur mom! Call me Saddam Hussein cuz I'm dropping rap bombs!!