Why did the dwarf work at Tesco?
Because every little bit helps!
Worst Jokes Ever
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.
Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.
Sparkling water was invented by Germans. Who else would add gas?
Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
A genealogist looks at the family tree.
A gynecologist looks up the family bush.
What is the difference between white people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
What did God say when he made the first woman?
"Where is your dick at?"
Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
When Helen Keller tries singing the national anthem at the Super Bowl,
Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa.
What did the Twin Towers say to each other?
Sorry if that offended anyone.
“I guess we are going down together!”
Them: What's on your arm?
Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
I feel bad for all American Clash Royale players.
They always start with two towers downed.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
