Worst Jokes Ever
An advantage of being an orphan: the teacher can't give you any homework.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
When you see an orphanage bully, remind them that no matter how powerful they are, they will never be as strong as their dads... Oh wait, they don't have a dad.
Yo mama so big, her belt size said "equator."
What do you call a transgender person in a wheelchair?
An Autobot.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it cracked.
Yo mama is so small that when she saw the Titanic, she called it the size of the Netherlands.
Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.
If an Indian had powers, it would be throwing tika masala.
That shirt's very becoming on you.
If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.
Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"
What does an orphan and Spider-Man have in common?
They have no "why home" 👹
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
When Helen Keller tries singing the national anthem at the Super Bowl,
Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa.
What did the Twin Towers say to each other?
Sorry if that offended anyone.
“I guess we are going down together!”
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.
What is red, pink, yellow, green, orange?
A black woman dressed for church.
There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!
So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.
So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"