Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn’t matter what you call it; it won’t come to you.

I'm not saying you're stupid.

But you're the reason plastic bags come with the warning, "Do not place over head!"

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends how hard you can throw.

There were once these two twins. One twin, no matter what happened, was always pissed off, while the other one was always happy.

This baffled scientists, so they ran an experiment on the twins to figure out what was happening. They took the angry one and left him in a room with all of the latest technology and the most expensive toys and left him overnight. When they came back, he was still grumpy. When they asked him why, he said, "None of these are actually mine, and you left me in here all night, so I'm angry!"

His explanation was reasonable, so they ran another experiment on the other kid. This time, they left him overnight in a room that was literally just filled with horse shit. When they came back to check on him the next morning, he was still smiling. When they asked him why, he said, "With all of this horse crap, there has to be a pony in here somewhere!"

Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”

Patient: “OK.”

Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife!”

What’s the difference between a dog and parents?

If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.

What’s the difference between McDonald’s and 9/11?

One is a drive through; the other is a fly through.