Worst Jokes Ever
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
What is a yellow dog Libertarian?
A yellow dog Libertarian is a Libertarian who is blindly loyal to the Libertarian Party, he or she who is a yellow dog Libertarian is a card carrying member of the Libertarian Party who would not vote for a progressive Democrat or a conservative Republican even if their life depended on it! 🐕 🗽
When you're born on 4/20/69...
Me: Knock knock. Bestie: Who's there? Me: Ben. Bestie: Ben Dover? Me: No, Ben vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx. Bestie: Omg how did I forget, hi vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx!
*Titanic was sinking.*
Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?
Captain: Two miles.
Passenger: Which way are we going?
Captain: Down.
People: The Titanic is unsinkable!
Iceberg: Challenge accepted.
Hi! Welcome to Papa John's abortion clinic, where yesterday's meat is today's treat. How may I be of service?
What's something that 9/10 people enjoy? A gangbang.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
What is an orphan's favorite beer?
Fosters.
Yo mama so big, her belt size said "equator."
I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome. I wanted my first time to be special.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it cracked.
Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.
Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.
So, if Russia was the motherland and Germany was the fatherland, what does that mean?
The Western Front is domestic violence.
What's another name for 9/11?
A forbidden game of Jenga.
What does a knife have but not my life...
A point.
Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
If you don’t get it, a Chinese woman ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think).