Sex is like pizza.
When it’s hot, it’s great.
When it’s cold, it’s still pretty good.
Worst Jokes Ever
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
What do you call it when you choose Panera Bread over something else?
Panera instead.
What’s the best thing about making out with dead girls?
They can’t say no.
Why'd Billy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing with the bent one.
Why did the cellphone get glasses? Because it lost its contacts!
What is the difference between a broom and a mop?
It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.
What's black and eats Kitty?
Serval cancer.
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
An Indian has a seat between two Pakistani's on board an airplane.
It's quite obvious to each of the three men where they are from. The Indian asks, "Pardon me gentleman, you wouldn't mind me sitting between you, do you? This is my seat, after all."
The Pakistanis look at each other, and then look back at him. One of them smiles and says, "Not at all! After all, Pakistanis and Indians are brothers! Are we not?"
The Indian is delighted at how warm and friendly they are, and he takes his seat. Shortly the plane takes off and the three guys are just chilling until the Indian says, "You know it's going to be a long ride and I am getting thirsty. Brothers, can I get any of you like a drink?" Then one of them says, "Yes brother, I would like a Coke!"
The Indian slips off his shoes and walks barefoot to where the stewardess is at, and when the Indian is out of view, one of the Pakistanis spits into his shoe. The Indian comes back and gives him a Coke.
Then the other Pakistani says, "You know what brother? I would also like a Coke too!" The Indian happily obliges, and as soon as he is out of view, he also spits in his shoe before the Indian gives him a Coke.
Finally, the Indian slips on his shoes and suddenly realizes how wet they are. He shakes his head and says, "Brothers! Why must we do this to each other, spitting in each other's shoes and peeing in each other's Cokes?"
Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.
And 100% of men don’t care.
Gay gang members don't do drive-bys, they do fruit roll-ups.
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.
Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?
Her sister is a real Dess-ember!
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
