Worst Jokes Ever
Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?
Her sister is a real Dess-ember!
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
What is the worst part about making an Asian girl squirt?
She charges you for extra sauce!
What is the difference between a broom and a mop?
It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
Your mom is so stupid that she thought LGBTQ was a sandwich.
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?
They hate it when you hand it to them.
What do you get when you mix alcohol with literature?
Tequila Mockingbird.
Why did the rapper become a painter?
To brush up on his rhymes!
"Officer, I drop kicked that child in self-defense." -Techno
What do you call it when you choose Panera Bread over something else?
Panera instead.
I feel bad for all American Clash Royale players.
They always start with two towers downed.
I took my sister and cousin to a sleepover with lil Diddy, who my dad's friend has connections with.
I think the experience went fine, but they were traumatized. We got what we wanted.
Why did the telemarketer cross the road?
I don't know.
I don't know either, but I hope there was a car coming.
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.