Worst Jokes Ever

People are like sharks; only the great ones are white.

So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word.

So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sister's Jenga kit!”

The principal's office smells nice.

If depression on crack fucked weed and 69 hours of not sleeping and had a baby with huge amounts of autism, that would be me.

Did you hear about the racist sprinkler?

It kept going: "Spick spick spick Chink chink chink!"

Retards.

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy.

One day, a leaf asks Mom, "Mom, why am I named Leaf?"

Mom says, "Because when you were a baby, a leaf fell on your head."

The next day, Feather asks Mom, "Mommy, why am I named Feather?"

Mom says, "When you were a baby, a feather fell on your head."

The next day, Brick asks Mom, "Rhsisvrkanx!"

Mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"

Q: What did one koala say to the other? A: How's it hanging? 😂

What has more brains than a student in a school shooting? The wall behind them.

Why can’t orphans get in trouble?

Because there’s no one to give a phone call home to.

Ching chong China.

Jing jong Japan.

Ting tong Taiwan.

Hing hong Hong Kong.

King kong Korea.

What do you call an Indian with a wooden leg? Shit on a stick.

What do you call an Indian with two wooden legs? A waste of lumber.

A man goes to a doctor and says he's having problems shitting, so the doctor gives him an enema and says he needs to do it a few times at home, but does the first one for him. So the guy bends over the table, lubes him up, and shoves it deep in him, and he yells.

So later, the man goes home and tells his wife he needs her help with the enema. So he bends over, she lubes him up, puts a hand on his shoulder, and she shoves it up there, and he starts screaming and cussing, and the wife asks, "Did I hurt you?" He said, "No, I just realized when the doctor did it, he had both hands on my shoulders."

An Oxymoron: A “Normal Autistic”.

"Rape[is] the only sign of world peace in this life."

My aunt worked as a human cannonball.

I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired.

I tell orphan jokes like there ain’t no parents around.

Why don't Bald Eagles like fast food? It always runs away!

I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.

What color would the confetti be at a baby shower in 2025?

Orange because they're having a they/them baby.