Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!
Worst Jokes Ever
Why was Helen Keller so bad at driving?
Because she's a woman.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find Homeplate.
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
Just told Putin to get some b*tches.
Waiting for 3801 missiles to strike my house.
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.
Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.
Why are cops worried about drunk drivers and not elderly drivers?
I’d pound your mom so fast, even Sonic would get jealous!
Q. What do Danielle Smith and a squirrel have in common?
A. They both always have a mouth full of nuts.
You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.
You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.
You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.
There was a boy who owned a dog, who was walking while wearing headphones.
Upon entering a park, he saw a sign that read, "DOGS MUST HAVE LEAD". He continued into the park, and became immersed in the music.
After leaving the park 20 minutes later and turning around for the first time in a while to remove the lead, the sight of his now-dead, freshly-poisoned dog reminded him of the importance of heteronyms.
I'm not saying you're stupid.
But you're the reason plastic bags come with the warning, "Do not place over head!"
What do you call a black man in the army in camo? Incogneggo.
How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs Nice tits
Why did the rapper become a painter?
To brush up on his rhymes!
What do you call a homosexual wrestler?
Gay Mysterio.
What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?
A margarita hits the spot every time.
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
