Worst Jokes Ever
World leaders are so old, they've got nostalgia for the Cambrian explosion.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
What did God say when he made the first woman?
"Where is your dick at?"
Are you a keyboard, because I wanna tap you all night long.
Why did the dwarf work at Tesco?
Because every little bit helps!
Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson:
Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
If you think I would joke about Alzheimer's, forget it.
What's the difference between a hipster and a hockey player? A hockey player changes his pads every third period.
I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back until I realized it is a family business.
The media's relationship with Hillary is just like Bill's relationship with Hillary. The relationship is unwanted and forced, and they'll move on to the next person any chance they get.
3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One to trust and the other to thrust.
What's the fastest way to break up a bingo game in Baghdad?
You shout out, "B-52!"
My lesbian friends bought me a gold timepiece for my birthday.
But, I think they got confused when I said, "I wanna watch!"
What do you call a terrorist attack in Iraq? A selfie!
What do you call a baby on the battlefield?
Free shield!
What do you call a girl furry?
A pussy cat.
Your mom checked for your hairline, but she could not find it.