Worst Jokes Ever
What kind of animal falls from the sky?
Answer: A raindeer.
Where does the resistor go after a long day?
It goes Ohm.
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.
The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."
The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."
I’d pound your mom so fast, even Sonic would get jealous!
What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?
They're both dangerous to children.
I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.
My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.
"Stupidity isn’t a crime, so you’re free to go."
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
What is Helen Keller's son's name? Hrrrrrrr.
An Indian has a seat between two Pakistani's on board an airplane.
It's quite obvious to each of the three men where they are from. The Indian asks, "Pardon me gentleman, you wouldn't mind me sitting between you, do you? This is my seat, after all."
The Pakistanis look at each other, and then look back at him. One of them smiles and says, "Not at all! After all, Pakistanis and Indians are brothers! Are we not?"
The Indian is delighted at how warm and friendly they are, and he takes his seat. Shortly the plane takes off and the three guys are just chilling until the Indian says, "You know it's going to be a long ride and I am getting thirsty. Brothers, can I get any of you like a drink?" Then one of them says, "Yes brother, I would like a Coke!"
The Indian slips off his shoes and walks barefoot to where the stewardess is at, and when the Indian is out of view, one of the Pakistanis spits into his shoe. The Indian comes back and gives him a Coke.
Then the other Pakistani says, "You know what brother? I would also like a Coke too!" The Indian happily obliges, and as soon as he is out of view, he also spits in his shoe before the Indian gives him a Coke.
Finally, the Indian slips on his shoes and suddenly realizes how wet they are. He shakes his head and says, "Brothers! Why must we do this to each other, spitting in each other's shoes and peeing in each other's Cokes?"
Why is it called scissoring and not lip-syncing?
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What is Epstein's favorite piano chord?
A minor.
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked, "What are you doing?" She replied, "Making a Creampie."
One of the most popular documentaries of the 2010’s was “Jiro Dreams of Sushi.”
One of the least popular documentaries was “Jiro’s Nightmare of Ass-Rape.”
Q: What did Donald Trump say after America gave him the boot?
A: What am I supposed to do with one boot?
Yo mama so ugly a rapist wouldn't even touch her with a barge pole.