Worst Jokes Ever
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money, and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money.
Bartender says you gotta do 3 tasks. He takes the shot of Jack, and the customer says, "What are the tasks?" He says, "The 1st one is, well the 1st 1 is, I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth, and you gotta pull it." He says, "All right, what's the 2nd 1?" He said, "I got a big old girl upstairs that ain't had no loving in a long time, you gotta make her smile." He takes another shot of Jack. He said, "All right, what's the 3rd 1?" He said, "You see that horse outside, you gotta make him laugh and cry."
Guy goes upstairs, goes out back, comes out to the front, comes back in. The other customer said, "Give him the jar." The guy says, "I took care of that lady's tooth, and I made that alligator smile."
"Well how'd you make the horse laugh?" he said. "Easy, I told him I had a bigger deck then him."
Bartender says, "How did you make him cry?" He said, "Easy, I showed him."
I thought God didn't make mistakes, but then I saw your face.
What the heck did I discover?
What is a thing orphans have that we can never have?
Imaginary parents.
Bro, I thought your hairline was the Dorito logo.
An eight-year-old girl struggles to breathe as she lies on a hospital bed and waits for the doctor to come. After the doctor comes, he pulls his cock out of her mouth, and she can breathe much better.
What do you call a disabled kid on fire?
Hot wheels.
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
I don't know an orphan joke, but I bib cried last night.
Because I am an orphan.
What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both like putting their meat in between 5-year-old buns.
Fall
Guys, stop making jokes about blind people, they might s... never mind, continue.
What do you call a depressed person's life?
At this point, nonexistent.
What's the worst TV series for orphans?
Family Guy.
9 year olds can consent. That’s like 18 divided by 2.
Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?
What is old, cold, and alone?
An orphan's parents.
My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
Because they cut deep.
This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. He sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger.
Mason: "Heh. Good thing I eat like a horse." He looks up at the waiter.
Waiter: "You are a nasty little bunny, aren't you?"
Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him... she was a HORSE.