Worst Jokes Ever
I only cut to find out if I'm real or cake.
There is a lot of difference between a man and a woman saying, "I went through a whole box of tissues watching that movie."
The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”
No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”
Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”
Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued.
“As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island, and the nearest shore was 50 miles away.
The redhead swam, trying to make it to the other shore. She swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.
The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died.
The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
What do Nike and the KKK have in common?
They both make Black people run faster.
Roses are red, peanuts are tan. I am joining the Ku Klux Klan.
What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?
Ginger!
I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy and then I was arrested for assault.
The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.
What do you call a bus full of transgender men? T-Mobile.
Moms have Mother's Day and dads have Father's Day. What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.
Why do depressed people go to camp? To learn how to tie knots tighter.
What do you call a hot tub full of special ed students?
Vegetable Soup.
Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.
What do you call a vegan slut?
A garden ho!
My wife thinks I'm immature, so I told her to get out of my fort.
You gotta give it to JD Vance. He is consistent; he is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
Well, somebody has to cushion the blow.
Why was baptism invented?
How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys?
How are Xbox servers like hookers? First they take my money, and then they go down on me.
Dad: School is canceled, I think your teacher died or something.
Me: Wow, they found the body already?
Dad: :/
Who was purple and wanted to rule the world?
Alexander the Grape.