Worst Jokes Ever
Why do they make glow-in-the-dark condoms?
So gay people can play Star Wars.
I'm an orphan, lol.
McDonald's and the Twin Towers are alike. McDonald's has a drive-through, and the Twin Towers had a fly-through.
Someone broke into my house and took my anti-depressants... I hope they're happy now.
I only cut to find out if I'm real or cake.
I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike; I just collect body parts.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream cone?
Because he got hit by a bus.
Roses are red, peanuts are tan. I am joining the Ku Klux Klan.
When you go to an orphanage for a field trip: When the workers said, "I remember you as a kid."
What movie does an orphan want for Christmas? "Spiderman: Homecoming";)
A duck walks into a bar. The duck says to the bartender, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No." Then the duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "NO!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No, and if you say that one more time I will nail your bill to this bar!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any nails?" The bartender says, "No." The duck says, "Well then, bartender, got any bread?"
A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labor. The doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father. They agree, so the machine is used. 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not feeling anything, 100%, nothing.
The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce field?
Seizure salad.
Did you know the F in Orphan stands for family?
Two priests are pulled over by the police. One priest asks the cop what the reason for pulling them over is. The cop says, "We are looking for two child molesters." The priest look at each other and tell the cop they'll do it.
Why are dolphins so smart?
Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!
Why is it so easy bullying orphans?
They can’t tell their mom.
Why is the bottom of the sea so dark?
Because Black people can’t swim.
A homeless man sits in front of a Home Depot. A man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks, "Why are you in front of the Home Depot?" And the man says, "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."
What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?
Ginger!