Worst Jokes Ever
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".
So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"
They say they'll stay, but I left first.
What does Michael Jackson and an ant have in common? They are both innocent.
What are fish not allowed to have?
Seaweed.
"Hotel Rwanda" has a high score on Rotten Tomatoes, but their Yelp reviews are terrible.
What do you call a warrior that's going to bed?
A knight knight.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.
What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
Why were the Twin Towers disappointed?
They asked for a pepperoni pizza and all they got was a plane.
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
What do you call depressed coffee?
Despresso ;)
What's a dying person's least favorite app? TikTok.
What makes William Afton and a boomerang common?
They always come back.
I told a joke to a guy who had jumped off a bridge... He was in bits! 🤣🤦♂️
Little Johnny was late to school one day, and Miss Brown asks, "Johnny, how come you're late to class?" And Johnny says, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and started fucking the white cow." Miss Brown said, "Johnny, don't use that word. Next time you want to say that, use the word 'surprised'."
The next day Johnny was late again, and Miss Brown said, "Johnny, why are you late?" And Johnny replied, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and 'surprised' the white cow." Miss Brown said, "That's much better, Johnny." And Johnny said, "Yeah, walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one."
Why can't an orphan be gay? It has no one to call daddy.
What do the Titanic and the Montréal Canadiens have in common? They both sank to the bottom of the Atlantic.
Alabama gene pools are so shallow, when they freeze over, it's just snow.