Worst Jokes Ever
What is Michael Jackson's favorite planet? Uranus.
If gay means happy, then I am now straight.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
Yo girl... do you like squirrels, because I'm about to nut in your hole.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked away with her cardboard box.
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
What do you get when I get mixed with coffee?
De-presso.
Why do orphans not like cereal? Because their dad never came back with milk.
I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because their dad never came home with the milk.
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."
Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.
Who needs April 1st if your whole life is already a lie?
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza. They got plane.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.
What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?
A headbanger.
My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.
A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."
The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"
Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.