Worst Jokes Ever
"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"
"Cancer."
A cow is at his friend's house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?
On the COWch (couch).
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
Why did the girl study in the tree? She wanted a higher education.
Why did the emo kid hate the nun? (Cuz nun of them were emo.)
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
nothing... they both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
What's the difference between a snow woman and snow man?
Snowballs.
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.
Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. The first cannibal says, "You start at the bottom, I start at the top," so they both chow down.
About half an hour later, the second cannibal says, "I'm having a ball!" Then the first cannibal says, "Then you're eating too fast!"
What do you call a Russian man with three balls?
'Whodya nikabollokov'
I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves.
Did you know penguins can actually fly if thrown hard enough... Just like children.
What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?
Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.
What’s the difference between you and Jesus? We know who Jesus’s dad was.
Who read the most words?
911 passengers, they read 12 stories in 9.10 seconds.
Kobe would still be alive if he would have gone to jail for raping that girl.
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.
Disney just released a new film about a poor kid with cancer. It’s called Finding Chemo.
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.