Worst Jokes Ever
Why is America bad at chess? We already lost two towers.
A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it.
Doctor: "I have good news and bad news."
Guy: "What's the bad news?"
Doc: "They replaced your toe with a piece of candy."
Guy: "Good news?"
Doc: "You now have tic tac toe."
What do you call pedophiles on a beach? Pedos in Speedos.
I guess you could say Stephen Hawking is a dead meme.
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."
I can't decide which side to take on abortion; on one hand it kills babies and on the other it gives women a choice...
What’s a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
Osama bin laden hit the towers because he couldnt fly straight
Wanna hear a plane joke? Nah, it'll just go over your head.
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
Why was 10 traumatized?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
My granddad killed Hitler.
Yo mama's so fat that when she went sky diving, she caused another global extinction.
One afternoon, a man was walking to a bar after work. Across the street, an Irish nun stood there waving her arms at the man. "Look at this poor drunkard! The Lord does not love him! He will be sent to Hell!" the nun shouted.
The man walked over to the nun. "Hey! I had a hard day at work! I was going to get ONE beer! Have you ever even tried a drink before?" the man asked. The nun looked down and shook her head. "Well, if you tried it, you would probably like it! Would you want to try something?" the man asked. The nun replied, "Okay, only one thing."
"What would you like?" asked the man. He offered her beer and whiskey, but she declined. "How about a little gin?" the man concluded. "Okay, sure. But, can you ask them to put it in a mug so people don't see what I'm drinking?" asked the nun.
"Fine," the man walks into the bar and waves to the bartender. "Hey, can I have a bottle of beer and a bit of gin? Also, can that be in a mug?" asked the man. The bartender looked up, with fury in his eyes. "Don't tell me that damn nun is out there again!" the bartender said.
Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats: My dog is named Curiosity, and your cat is dead.
What does Michael Jackson and maths have in common? They're both hard for kids.
What do altar boys and strippers have in common? Father issues.
Yo, everyone! My sis is pregnant, and I’m gonna be a dad!
I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣