Worst Jokes Ever
How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?
5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.
I lost my driver's license today. I hit my ex with my car.
What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?
They wait to be filled with a big load.
Why can't an orphan go to a field trip?
Parent's signature: ___________
I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?
A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...
If an orphan takes a selfie, isn't it basically a family portrait?
I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.
What kind of family pictures do orphans take?
Selfies!!
Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date? Because he was 2 squared.
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
Q: What's yellow and floats?
A: A bus full of children.
KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."
Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?
A: “Holes gonna be big.”
ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hey Donut.
My wife made electric eel for supper. I was shocked!
There is an Afghan Barbie; it’s a blow-up doll.
A boy asks his father:
"What is politics?"
Father answers:
"It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business. Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.
Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.
Our maid is the working class.
Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future."
The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.
Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.
The next day his father asks him:
"So, can you now explain to me what politics is?"
The boy says:
"Yes, it’s all become clear to me!
Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit."
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
Dear disabled people, Just go into the settings and enable it.