Worst Jokes Ever
What do orphans be on Halloween?
They be themselves.
Why can’t orphans get married?
Because they were already given away.
Why can't Asians play baseball?
Because they ate all the bats!
Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.
Two baked beans traveled around Australia.
They both ended up in Cairns.
I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."
A woman just went through labor. She asked the doctor, "Was it a healthy delivery?" The doctor replies, "It wasn't delivery, it's DiGiorno."
What do you get when I get mixed with coffee?
De-presso.
What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?
That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.
Why do orphans hate school?
No field trips. Parent signature_____________.
Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
Lil Jimmy: Hey doc.
Doctor: Hi, sorry but I can’t see you anymore.
Lil Jimmy: Why?
Doctor: Because, Lil Jimmy, I’m a family doctor, you're an orphan.
Lil Jimmy: 👁👄👁🖕
POV there’s a school shooting.
American: First time, European?
European: Yeah, you American?
American: No, not my first time.
Yo Mama so stupid that when she saw a sign that said, “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.
Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year.
I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.
Here are some rules to make a good joke:
1: Don't say “my life.”
2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.
3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).
Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers?
Me: No, but I'll arm wrestle you for the check.
What makes emos jump?
Bridges.