Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

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It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."

Why do I go around making orphan jokes? Because they can't go crying to their parents. 😅

I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just vibing. He was telling every guy that walked by if his dick was bigger than theirs, they have to give him 50 bucks.

Long story short, I walked away with 100 bucks that day.

Friend 1: I don't want to jump.

Friend 2: Me neither.

Murderer: If you don't jump, I'll stab you.

Friend 1: *jumps*

Friend 2: *jumps*

Murderer: I didn't mean off the building!

Friend 1: I know that. I just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy.

I'm treated like God when I'm home, I'm usually ignored until someone wants something.

My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."

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    • Q: What's the difference between a fetus and an onion?

    A: One makes you cry when you chop it into pieces.

    Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.

    There was a woman from Ealing, she had a peculiar feeling. She laid on her back, opened her crack, and pissed all over the ceiling.

    Quote for the day.

    I looked this quote up, but it really is a good thing, just for starters.

    "Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY."

    Also, loving is so much more to give instead! Always remember to love!!! Best-Gwen :)

    While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.

    Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!

    Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.

    You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.