Worst Jokes Ever
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”
Your forehead is so big and shiny it looks like a solar field.
How did the USA beat Japan in rapping?
By dropping two of the biggest roasts.
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool? Posiedown.
What is the most difficult day in the ghetto?
Father's Day.
Yo mama so dumb, she tried to put m&m's in alphabetical order.
When is it bedtime in the Jacksons' house?
When the big hand 🖐 meets the little 🤚.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marrahwanah.
Jack got high, slapped her thigh, and then they had some fun.
Jill forgot to take her pills, and now they have a son.
Dark humor is like cancer, it's even funnier when children get it.
Book on Michael Jackson: Issued black; returned white.
My best friend got ligma. (Ah, did he? Sorry bro.) LIGMA BALLS!
Why did the sea cry?
Because it felt salty and blue.
Papa John's pizzeria and abortion clinic. You make 'em, we bake 'em.
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Three sons left home, went out into the world, and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.
"I built a big house for our mum," said the first.
"I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur," said the second.
And the third smiled and said, "I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it."
A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,
"The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house."
To the second son she said, "I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude."
To the third son she wrote "Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!"
I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.
Husband: "I think I might take a picture of your breasts and frame it."
Wife: "I think I'll take a picture of your penis and enlarge it."
Why do Nazis not wear necklaces, rings, and bracelets? Because they hate jewelry.
"I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday, but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry."
Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.