Worst Jokes Ever

My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!

Joe mama is so fat, Dora can't explore her.

There was a plane crash. The pilot's names were Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow.

I was on the Oregon trail with my friend's brother, Carl. He got cholera, so we threw him off the wagon. When we came back, he was having a seizure and pooping uncontrollably. It was pretty cholerious.

What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?

Lim Ping.

I entered 10 puns into a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.

Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it they have to climb the two tallest buildings in New York.

Did anyone get my joke? It probably flew over your heads, oops I meant through.

My wife and I watched The Perfect Murder together. Excellent movie, but what disturbed me though was my wife constantly taking notes.

I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.

Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool? It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.

How did Fortnite record their henchman sounds?

They asked a bunch of kids with Down syndrome to film a documentary.

Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don't take shit off of anyone.

What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!

I’m so annoyed by those people who just believe in anything they hear. This is a conversation I had a few days ago.

Idiot: "The moon landing was faked! So unbelievably fake!" Me: "You believe in the moon? Stupidass."

Me: Have you ever tried African food?

You: No.

Me: They haven't either.

What do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly mammoth.

When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.

My cock was in the book of world records...

The librarian told me to take it out.

What's sad and has no life? The person reading this.