Worst Jokes Ever
We don't read backwards.
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
Kobe would still be alive if he would have gone to jail for raping that girl.
Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
What's the difference between a boring teacher and a boring book?
You can shut the book up.
joe: Are your mom and dad nice?
zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.
joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despesso.
An orphan made an Instagram. He did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner.
I wonder if the sun is going to rise every morning. Then it dawns on me.
What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?
You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.
How can toilet paper decorate your house?
Shit sticks everywhere.
*sans*: Why was the skeleton depressed? Because Frisk keeps resetting and it resets when he lost his phone.
"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"
What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?
They’re both in my bed.
what did Germany and Austria do after ww2?
accepted all art students
It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.
Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."
"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."
Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?
A: “Holes gonna be big.”
What is the female version of t-bagging? A clam slapping.
ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hey Donut.