Worst Jokes Ever
You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.
If abortion is murder, is jerking off genocide?
Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
What do orphans be on Halloween?
They be themselves.
Paul's favorite car.
A Carrera GT.
Why does an orphan always get out in baseball?
Because he can't run home.
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
What do you call a rooster lollipop?
A cock sucker!
What is the difference between an emo kid and a cutting board?
ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hey Donut.
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.
What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.
My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because their dad never came home with the milk.
Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?
"Sum ting wong."
I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.
I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.
I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!