Worst Jokes Ever
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marrahwanah.
Jack got high, slapped her thigh, and then they had some fun.
Jill forgot to take her pills, and now they have a son.
My best friend got ligma. (Ah, did he? Sorry bro.) LIGMA BALLS!
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What is Hitler's favorite food? A hindenburger.
Book on Michael Jackson: Issued black; returned white.
Dark humor is like cancer, it's even funnier when children get it.
I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.
A girl and boy are in bed after sex. The boy goes, “I can’t believe they got together after all that shit.” The girl says, “Who?” The boy goes, “My ass cheeks.”
Husband: "I think I might take a picture of your breasts and frame it."
Wife: "I think I'll take a picture of your penis and enlarge it."
"I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday, but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry."
Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.
A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.
P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?
P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).
P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
What’s pink, black and has 17 nipples?
A trash can behind the cancer ward.
I only kidnapped orphans because they have no parents to report them missing.
What talks high pitched and can't fly?
A gay man in Iran.
What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?
Nothing.
How did Helen Keller burn the side of her head? She answered the iron.
How'd she burn the other side? They called back.
What do chairs spend on the most?
Chair-ity.
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”