Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
Because he couldn’t climb up the stairs to heaven.
I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.
I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.
I can make 9/11 jokes, but every time I do, they crash and burn.
Me: Good night, everyone.
My friends and family: Night.
Me: *gets in coffin*
My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?
My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.
What instrument do skeletons use? A trombone! Haha!
Why did the orphan try to get hurt?
Because then they would get surrounded with people who care about him.
He looks around, no one is there.
Jesus and Satan are just basically Homer and Flanders. One tries to help the other, only for Satan to just say, "Shut up!"
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Mom: I'm getting you a dog!
Me: OMG REALLY?!
Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?
Me:...
Me: Bitch, please.
Paul's favorite car.
A Carrera GT.
What do you call a rooster lollipop?
A cock sucker!
My wife made electric eel for supper. I was shocked!
An orphan? We no jokes.
Jokeless orphan since they were always stacked on jokes.
Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.
Son: Why, Dad?
Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.
An emo tried to give me a high five...
I left him hanging.
Do you know Candice?
Nope.
Candice dick fit in your mouth.
What does the handicapped man say to the cops when he’s mistaken for a criminal: "Don't shoot, I'm unarmed!"
Welcome to Arby's, where your babies become our gravy!
The F in orphans stands for family...