Worst Jokes Ever
A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
Technoblade would love it here.
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.
I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)
So, a doctor walks into the room with a dying patient. He looks the man up and down and says gravely: "I'm sorry, you only have ten left." The other man smiles nervously and asks, "T-ten what doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?" The doctor calmly looks at him. "Nine."
What's the most unrealistic part of Harry Potter?
A ginger with friends.
Doctor: You don't have long to live. 10...
Patient: Ten what? Ten years, ten months?
Doctor: 9... 8... 7...
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
A girl asks her Asian boyfriend if he wants to eat her pussy. He asks her why she is taking off her clothes, instead of cooking her cat.
What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
Cha Ching.
Your forehead is so big and shiny it looks like a solar field.
How did the USA beat Japan in rapping?
By dropping two of the biggest roasts.
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?
Posiedown.
Yo mama so dumb, she tried to put m&m's in alphabetical order.
When is it bedtime in the Jacksons' house?
When the big hand 🖐 meets the little 🤚.
Book on Michael Jackson: Issued black; returned white.
Dark humor is like cancer, it's even funnier when children get it.
COP: Are you high?
ME: If I was high, could I do this? *walks in a perfectly straight line*
COP: Wth he just walked off a cliff.
My best friend got ligma. (Ah, did he? Sorry bro.) LIGMA BALLS!
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.