Worst Jokes Ever

What is big, annoying, and full of blubber?

90% of America's population.

Chuck Norris once took down a fence. Maybe you heard of it, the Berlin Wall.

I was studying in Turin, and my professor told me I had to use PENS only.

I looked in my bag for pens, and they were GONE. I looked at the surveillance footage and saw that CRISTIANO PENALDO stole ALL MY PENS. I was fuming. Shame on you, Penaldo!

The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.

Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."

Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"

Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."

Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"

Three nuns had to go before Mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says, "Have you sinned?" "Yes, I have, Mother. I have stolen a bicycle." Okay, said Mother Superior. "Say 100 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water." Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned. "She slept with a married man." So Mother Superior says, "Okay, say 500 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way." The third nun comes up and she says, "I peed in the holy water!" 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈

I dated a furry once.

The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah.

So, you're into pronouns? Let me she/them titties.

You're not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.

My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.

What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?

You have to turn them on before they start to suck.

So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.

A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀

What do orphans like about tattoos? They stick around.

Boy 1: "Sonic is a fictional character."

Boy 2: "Yeah, just like your dad."

The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"

The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"

The school shooter: "I don't know."

The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."

Why did the Titanic cross the river to get to the bottom?

Me: brags about my 30 kill streak.

The jury: O.o

Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

I would tell a 9/11 joke, but they usually crash and burn.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.

What's an emo's favorite game?

Limbo.

(If you don't understand the joke, go look up what Limbo is.)