Worst Jokes Ever

What's the difference between a snow woman and snow man?

Snowballs.

What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?

They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.

I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves.

What’s the difference between you and Jesus? We know who Jesus’s dad was.

Who read the most words?

911 passengers, they read 12 stories in 9.10 seconds.

We don't read backwards.

What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?

Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.

Kobe would still be alive if he would have gone to jail for raping that girl.

Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.

Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.

What do you call a sad coffee?

Despesso.

What's the difference between a boring teacher and a boring book?

You can shut the book up.

joe: Are your mom and dad nice?

zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.

joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.

An orphan made an Instagram. He did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner.

I wonder if the sun is going to rise every morning. Then it dawns on me.

What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?

You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.

*sans*: Why was the skeleton depressed? Because Frisk keeps resetting and it resets when he lost his phone.

How can toilet paper decorate your house?

Shit sticks everywhere.

"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""

"You stabbed my brother!"

"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"

Me: Mom, the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!