Worst Jokes Ever
On a scale of 1-10, how old was Michael Jackson’s last boyfriend?
What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?
Mourning wood.
What was the last thing to go through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
A man was in a courtroom. The judge said, "What should this man's punishment be?"
A random guy yelled, "Off with his head!"
The judge said, "He shall give head to every man in this room."
The guy yelled, "Wait, that's not what I said!"
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.
So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop, so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it. Jokes on her, she doesn't have any fingers.
lowkey "discharge" is an ugly word. I prefer créme de la meow meow.
F is for friends who don't talk to you.
U is for Ur alone.
N is for never having any plans at all, all you do is sit at home.
I met this girl at a bar and started doing her from behind. Everything was great until she turned and said, "My turn!"
Are you a bowling ball? Because I want to stick 3 fingers in you.
How do you give a redneck a circumcision? Kick his sister in the jaw.
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your mom.
Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
So we were working with a new client at work, and my boss farts. He said, "A little gas never killed anyone."
The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.
You're so ugly that everytime you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.
What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?
"Drop it, Jamal!"