Worst Jokes Ever

So, I was at a stand up comedy show in Russia where the comedian was making fun of Putin. The jokes weren’t that good, but I loved the execution.

You were sleeping, it didn't count - Chloe Foxwell 2021:)))))))

This is NOT my joke. I found it on Google. It's a texting joke.

Mom: Son, your grandma just passed away LOL.

Son: Mom, what do you mean LOL? That means laughing out loud.

Mom: Oh no, I thought that meant lots of love. I have to text everyone back!!!!

I got introduced to a dwarf at a nudist colony the other day.

When we shook, the pleasure was all mine.

What are some other names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle,” but then there’s my personal favorite “fuck fight”.

What's the difference between a white and a black fairytale? White begins with, "Once upon a time..." Black begins with, "Y'all motherf...s ain't gonna believe this sh.."

My dad always wanted one last smoke before his death, so we smoked his ashes.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun.

Jack got mad and kicked Jill in the ass because she couldn't make him cum.

"Sir, we're mining too many useless mineral ores."

Hitler: "Mine less, then."

Grammar Nazi bursts in: "MINE FEWER!"

Hitler looks over: "Yes?"

What is the difference between a priest and a doctor?

The doctor doesn't like to give physicals.

What do the mafia and pussies have in common?

One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.

How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, they declare darkness to be the new standard.

How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Infinite because feminists can't solve problems.

Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"

Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"

I wanted to be an astronaut, but my parents always told me when I was little that the sky was the limit.

I found out what DNA stands for. It's the National Dyslexic's Association.

What do you call a person with Down syndrome in a bathtub?

Vegetable soup.

What’s the difference between Disney+ and P*rnhub?

Disney+ wants you to hate your stepmother.

Why do animals in polar regions have thick fur? Because they don't have a barber! 🤣 🤣 🤣

What did Hitler get for his birthday?

A G.I. Jew and an Easy Bake Oven.