What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?
Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.
Worst Jokes Ever
Kobe would still be alive if he would have gone to jail for raping that girl.
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despesso.
What's the difference between a boring teacher and a boring book?
You can shut the book up.
joe: Are your mom and dad nice?
zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.
joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
An orphan made an Instagram. He did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner.
I wonder if the sun is going to rise every morning. Then it dawns on me.
What is the difference between a wagon filled with sand and a wagon filled with newborns?
You cannot unload the sand with a pitchfork.
*sans*: Why was the skeleton depressed? Because Frisk keeps resetting and it resets when he lost his phone.
How can toilet paper decorate your house?
Shit sticks everywhere.
"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"
Me: Mom, the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!
What do you call a transgender person? Nintendo Switch.
Hi, I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hairdryer.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, grabbed her thigh, and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a daughter.
Haha, I fucked you over!
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
