Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a porn star that always goes back for more?
Craven Morehead.
You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent.
I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand. -- It's seven.
Why can't an orphan play Family Feud? Because it has to have a family.
A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked him what he was supposed to be. He answered, "A turtle."
"Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again.
The boy answered, "It's Michelle."
How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet.
He scares the shit out of it.
What do you call an Asian prostitute?
Suck Mi Dong.
Q: Why did frosty pull down his pants?
A: He heard the snowblower coming.
Do you know Putin?
Put in these balls in your mouth.
What is Hitler's favorite book? "Hitler and the chamber of secrets."
Why is a moon rock tastier than an Earth rock?
Because it’s a little meteor.
Why do orphans like to play GTA?
Because it's the only time they are wanted.
Your hairline is so bad that it makes Lebron's hairline look normal.
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd-shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
Because they don't want to be mistaken as feminists.
What do you call an autistic kid who just saw Transformers? Autistimus Prime.
Why are mountains always tired? Because they don't Everest.
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."
Me and my friend went to the park. After a while, we grabbed our little princess and said, "It's time to go, sweetie." But before we could go, someone said, "Stop them, they have my daughter!"