Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a creepy IT teacher?
A PDF file.
What is a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross-country!!!
Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?
All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
How many kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently not 27. Because my basement's still dark...
What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?
Suicide Boomer.
Why don’t mountains catch colds?
They wear snow caps.
I recently found out that my grandma died. We did an autopsy, and the results came back. They were pretty shocking.
We found out that she died............... from an autopsy.
One Erection would be a very nice name for a gay band.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles.
So I'm banging the fuck out of this slutty chick, right?
And I'm thinking to myself, "She's PROBABLY got AIDS." So I go and get myself tested and, lo and behold, I'm positive.
This gets me thinking, "Where the fuck does an eight year old get AIDS?!"
"Who has my sister been hanging out with?!"
A man walks into a bar and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. When he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says, "If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?" The man decided not to take the risk. He thought the steaks were too high.
What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? -- He nuts and bolts.
If a man drove over a woman, whose fault was it? The man, because he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.
Q: Do you know why black people have nightmares?
A: Because we shot the last one who had a dream.
Why do orphans support slavery?
They finally have an owner.
Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?
JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.
So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"
"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"
Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"
What's one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?
“Hang in there!”