Worst Jokes Ever

Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?

They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.

My mom wanted me to build her a shed for her useless things, then she told me to go live in it.

I told my psychiatrist I was going to go kill myself. He asked if I was paying for this appointment in check or cash.

The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.

Me: Stepping on a scale to weigh myself.

Everyone else in the minefield...

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have no balls, neither will you. 🔪🔪

My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.

What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.

What do you get when King Kong steps on Batman and Robin?

Flatman and Ribbon.

Why do animals in polar regions have thick fur? Because they don't have a barber! 🤣 🤣 🤣

Why wasn't the infant's entire body found?

Because the limbs are scattered around 43°17.7355’N, 113°58.4205’W.

what's the worst thing to say to an emo?

if you don't succeed the first time, try try try again.

I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

Yo mama so ugly!

The mime broke his 30 year streak of silence!!!!

What does a bicycle and Jade Goody have in common?

They can't reach 30.

bully: "Your life's a joke."

me: "My life's not a joke, jokes have meaning."

Why'd the chicken cross the road?

A: To get to the gay (guys/girls) house.

(Wait awhile) then ask “knock knock?” Other person says “Who’s there?”

A: The chicken.

What’s the difference between Disney+ and P*rnhub?

Disney+ wants you to hate your stepmother.