Worst Jokes Ever
I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving that bus.
What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"
6:30 is the best time on a clock... hands down.
What did one traffic light say to the other?
"Stop looking, I am changing."
What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?
They both finished the races.
Chuck Norris wins a staring contest. -- Against Medusa.
What do you call a dwarf police officer?
A guinea pig.
What's the difference between a knife and my life?
A knife has a point.
When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying, I asked her where her parents were. She cried louder. That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage.
When Steven Hawking realizes heaven is only a stairway away.
Roses are red, violets are fine, I'll be the six, you be the nine.
What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?
Poutine with Russian dressing!
Did you hear about the new emo pizza? It cuts itself.
How do you make someone in Africa disappointed?
Sing "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head."
New Teslas don't come with a new car smell; they come with an Elon Musk.
How many kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently not 27. Because my basement's still dark...
What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? He doesn't walkie or talkie.
9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
A man walks into a bar and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. When he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says, "If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?" The man decided not to take the risk. He thought the steaks were too high.