Worst Jokes Ever
This year my friends wanted to dress up as crayons for Halloween. They asked me if I wanted to be a tan crayon. I didn’t want to, but I said yes to be nice. I wish I had said no, because now I look like a dick to everyone else.
What has 50 legs but can't walk?
25 disabled children.
The number 13? Not on my watch!
Curry.
I told kids to make a family tree. God, I love working at the orphanages.
My wife asked me to help cure her from sucking her thumb. So I drew a cock on it.
what is the fastest country? iran.
Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?
A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture with it's family?
A self-fie.
Me and my friend were roasting each other. She said, "You look like a Reese's cup." I replied, "You're so old, your pubic hairs are 50 shades of gray."
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
What's a similarity between a broken lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
They're both accidents.
Yo mama's so stupid she got locked in Mattress World and slept on the floor.
What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?
Icy dead people.
I love you like my cuts.
Deeply.
My pencil sharpener when I bleed:
And I don't really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry peeling onions!
What makes sad people jump? Bridges.
Your mama so ugly that even Rick Astley had to give her up.
I ran over three disabled kids.
"Cripple kill."
Q: Do you know why black people have nightmares?
A: Because we shot the last one who had a dream.