Worst Jokes Ever
Mom, mom, I'm holding my little brother's hand..... Little Johnny, good! But he's not born yet.
Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he doesn't know if he is black or white.
Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?
They don’t deserve rights!
Why can't orphans do homework? They don't have a home.
What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.
What is an orphan's dad's job?
A magician because he makes himself disappear.
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A wishlist.
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
What do you do when a Panera Bread panera breads?
Panera Bread.
Q. Why did the orphan rob a bank?
A. To feel wanted for the first fucking time.
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
Why do orphans want to become criminals? To know what it feels like to be wanted.
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?
It’s called "Maybe Dick."
When I cut vegetables for my famous stew, I don’t know why everyone in the nursing home is always looking at me.
I have a problem. My dad and my girlfriend have the same birthday. So, one took my virginity, and the other is my girlfriend.
Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?
From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.
I like dick.
Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up everything.