Worst Jokes Ever
What's long and black?
The line to KFC.
As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.
Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Bro, you can't talk; you look like the dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.
I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!
If you're happy and you know it, f*** your mom.
What’s the difference between Geico and a wife?
Geico saves you more.
What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?
I beat both of them.
"DEEZ NUTS"
If Kenny had a son, we all know he would also be his brother.
Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!
Why did the sun go to school? To get brighter!
Yo mama is so fat that when she was at school, they needed a satellite to take her school photo.
Why does the basketball never get a date?
Because they dribble.
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
Bf: Hey, what ya doing?
Gf: Just lying in bed.
Bf: Just lying in bed?
Gf: And eating cereal.
Bf: Ha, nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you...?
Gf: Eat my cereal.
Bf: I mean if the cereal wasn't there.
Gf: I'd get out of bed and get more cereal.
My Dad was mowing the grass today. I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Would you rather get a massage from a man or get major surgery from a woman?