Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't you play with a cheetah?
Because they are cheat-ahs!
What does NASA stand for?
Need Another Seven Astronauts!
You're gay.
If you read this.
Does anyone else here eat pretzels with Nutella? It tastes AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Say this to someone who is fat that you don't like (make sure he's a virgin):
"You're so fat you can sell shaaade!! That's why you're a virgin and you masturbaaate!!! Yeah, I've see you, touching your 1 centimetre and if you have a gf she's is a cheater!!"
Make sure to say "shaaade" not "shade". And say "maturbaaate" (also try to say a D not a T in maturbaaate) not "masturbate".
"Everyone knows I love kids better than people."
- Joe Biden. (A.K.A. Pedo Peter.)
Why did Hitler die? He got hit by 'ler'.
What instrument do people like to listen to while having sex?
A sex-a-phone.
One day it was me and my sister in the house. My sister said to me, "Let's order food." I said, "We have no money." My sister said, "It's cool; we're just going to order egg rolls from the Chinese store. I know the delivery boy, and he won't charge us." I said, "Cool."
The delivery boy came with the egg rolls. I took some and ate mine in my room. I went back in the kitchen. I see my sister giving the delivery boy a blow job. I ask, "What are you doing?" My sister replied back to me, "You had your egg rolls; let me enjoy mine." Then the delivery boy said, "Don't no charge."
Why did the chicken cross the towers?
Because he ordered a plane pizza and didn’t get to the other side.
A Chinese wise man once said, "ching chong ling long ting tong," which means, "keep striving in life."
Teacher: What is a cow?
Kid: Meat.
Teacher: Nice. What is a chicken?
Kid: Eggs.
Teacher: What does the big fat pig give you?
Kid: Homework.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.
I wrote a song about tortillas...
Actually, it's more of a wrap.
Nessie is dying.
Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.
Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.
What is the country that is always in a rush? Russia.
My dads just like my eggs... runny. 🤣😭🥺
What did they find in Paul Walker's glovebox?
His head and shoulders.