It's the season of giving, so I'll be giving up!
Worst Jokes Ever
Who are the world's fastest readers?
The 9/11 suicide jumpers, they went through 110 stories in 5 seconds. Sorry.
What's the difference between parents and depression? At least one of them leaves you.
The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”
Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope slapped him.
Getting murdered by someone is probably the most intimate experience I'll ever have.
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
Thankfully, I'm still alive because I fail at everything in life.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
What did the north tower say to the south tower?
"You're too young to smoke."
"Hee hee touched me."
A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
There was a wedding so sad that even the cake was in tiers.
If you don't like my suicidal jokes, sorry man, didn't know it cut that deep.
My fish can break dance. Only for 20 seconds and only once.
Who says Rihanna isn't charitable?
I mean, she found Johnny Depp for her fashion show by scouting for people living in tents down in Skid Row.
Bully: "Shut up and give me your money, otherwise I will tell everyone that you are still a virgin."
Boy: "Haha, I am not a virgin anymore."
Bully: "Haha, nice joke."
Boy: "If you don't believe then ask your sister or brother."
Bully: "Hah, I don't have any sibling."
Boy: "Will just wait for 9 months then u will know."
Q. How does a girl from Alabama know when her mom is on the rag?
A. She can taste it on her brother's cock.
What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.
Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now.
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)
