Worst Jokes Ever
When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.
You smell like tap water and cornflakes.
Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.
Them: You're ugly.
Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.
Yesterday we lost a quarter of our roof in the storm, oof.
What did Elon Musk do after sacking half of Twitter employees?
Raped an eight-year-old girl.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.
Bitches be like, "Read the room."
What genre is that in?
The real reason women are always cold is because they’re not in front of a stove or an oven. So, naturally, when they leave the habitat, they need to have two blankets.
What did the Twin Towers get when they ordered an extra large pepperoni pizza?
When the pizza man got there, all they got was plane.
There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"
The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
What is one plus one?
It's TOO hard!
Roses are red. Sunflowers are yellow.
Your mom is so fat she looks like a marshmallow.
What does LMAO mean? Launching Missiles At Orphanages.
Me: I just came home from Africa, and guess what I saw.
Friend: I don't know.
Me: A black market.
What do you call Hiroshima and Nagasaki?
The world's first microwaves.
I saw a kid crying in the corner of the room and I said, "Are you OK? Where are your parents?" and he started crying even more.
I love working in an orphanage.
Why did Steven Hawking go to hell, not heaven?
Because there is a stairway to heaven, but there is not one to hell.
Yo mama's so fat, she woke up on both sides of the bed.
What do you call an emo committing suicide while filming it?
America’s Funniest Home Videos.
(lol)
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang the picture.