Worst Jokes Ever
As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.
Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."
Bro, you can't talk; you look like the dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
"DEEZ NUTS"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?”
The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.”
So the boy said, “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”
When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?”
The boy replied, “Half way down my leg...”
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
If Kenny had a son, we all know he would also be his brother.
Trees are just bushes with lift kits.
What’s missing from an orphan's iPad?
The home button.
What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?
I beat both of them.
What happens to a baby when you let it run loose? It can't cause it can't run yet.
Q: How did the skeleton know it would rain? A: He read the weather forecast.
Battery 1%.
I take one last look at Earth as my suit runs out of power.
The man had no arms and a little girl came over and said, "Give me a high-five."
He said, "I’ve got no arms," and the girl said, "Are you an eel? Cause he don’t have arms."
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One makes you believe in Heaven, the other makes you feel it.
What do you call a Muslim in a swimming pool? A bath bomb.
I played Kobe Bryant on 2k14, but my console somehow kept crashing.
What's a cannibal's favorite place?
A day care.
Your race's favorite Star Wars Characters:
Arab...Admiral Ackbar (Allahu Akbar)
East Asian...Qui-Gon Jinn (Ching-Chong-Wing-Wong)
Jew...Rey (Ray)
Black...BB-8 (BBC)
Italian...Jabba the Hutt (Pizza Hut)
German...Admiral Piett (Hitler)