Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.
The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.
What is the difference between a brown bear and a polar bear?
About a few thousand miles.
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg?
He's all right.
How do tourists feed their kids?
Here comes the airplane, here comes the second one.
I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
Why did the frog take the train to work? His car got toad.
A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said, "No, you won’t return it."
I went to Starbucks today and they asked what I wanted, and I replied with "to die, a shot of bleach, and an deppresso expresso."
I made an orphan website.
But it did not have a home page.
What is 6 inches and long?
A Slim Jim.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell it to clap until his/her parents are back.
What’s white and sticky and better to spit out than to swallow? Toothpaste.
What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more!
What do orphans and TVs have in common?
At least one of them has a home.
Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
Ben: I don't know.
Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
Where did the pig go on holiday?
Snout and about.
Funny things or weird things to say to someone.
Hey... have you kissed a girl before? Weird things to say to someone.
It's hard to find friends that [are] 91% funny, 100% nice, and 1000000% good-looking. Funny!
Weird names to call a girl: Sweetums.
Baby-Bugga-Boo.
Fuzzkins.
Lumpy.
Nilly.
Ninty Minty.
and SEXY WITCH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Gross that's why I am not getting a bf!
What does 2016 and 2020 have in common?
A monkey caused worldwide outrage.