Worst Jokes Ever
The man had no arms and a little girl came over and said, "Give me a high-five."
He said, "I’ve got no arms," and the girl said, "Are you an eel? Cause he don’t have arms."
How do tourists feed their kids?
Here comes the airplane, here comes the second one.
What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven
Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere
Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
What is the definition of confusion?
Three blind lesbians in a fish market.
How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.
What would a Down syndrome Ben 10 alien be called?
Chromostone.
What does a sex offender and Santa have in common?
They will come down your "chimney" tonight.
What's the difference between Nickelback and a nickel?
A nickel is actually metal.
What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A fruit stand.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One makes you believe in Heaven, the other makes you feel it.
Why You should never poop on the floor in an Apple Store?
Because they don't have Windows. 🤢 🤣
Trees are just bushes with lift kits.
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
What’s missing from an orphan's iPad?
The home button.
Did you hear about the cat jail break out? It was a cat-tastrophe.
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sourpuss.
This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?”
The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.”
So the boy said, “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”
When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?”
The boy replied, “Half way down my leg...”
Why can’t the orphan play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Q: How did the skeleton know it would rain? A: He read the weather forecast.
What happens to a baby when you let it run loose? It can't cause it can't run yet.