I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why does Michael Jackson like to shop at Walmart?
Little boys' pants are half off!
Why are history teachers always women? Because they like to bring up the past.
My crush: OMG, my dog just died!πππππ
Me: Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I am here for you!
My crush: I have a boyfriend...π
Me: Yeah well, I have a dog.
What does LMAO mean? Launching Missiles At Orphanages.
Where do you order nonbinary pizza?
Little xe/xyrs.
What do you call Hiroshima and Nagasaki?
The world's first microwaves.
What gives you the power to walk through a wall?
A door.
I'm glad we're all going virtual so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings.
I think God is cool with abortion.
After all, he did kill his only son.
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
Orphan: Am going to see my mom in the kitchen because they are always in there.
Orphan: Realizes.
Why do orphans play GTA?
To be wanted.
Why do orphanages give out free phones?
So you can press the home button.
A person laughs every day.
"Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.
When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.
You smell like tap water and cornflakes.
Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.
Them: You're ugly.
Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.
Yesterday we lost a quarter of our roof in the storm, oof.
There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"
The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
