Worst Jokes Ever

What is red and looks like a zebra?

My arm. Hehhehehehe UwU

Why wouldn’t Mr. Bee 🐝 push Ms. Bee 🐝 away?

Because he loves his honey.

I would make a joke about 9/11, but it has a tendency to crash and burn.

How do you avoid getting raped? Never say no.

Q. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?

A. A seatbelt.

Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents name him "Sudden Lee."

People call me a bad person, but just the other day I saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents. I love working at the orphanage.

Bully: Hey virgin!

Victim: I'm not a virgin, just ask your sister.

Bully: I don't have a sister, dumbass.

Victim: Just wait nine months.

Hellen Keller walked into a bar... then a table... then a chair.

Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the water, the whales started singing "We are a family, even though you fatter than me."

Little Johnny walked into his house. He heard a banging sound from up above and decided to investigate. He opened the door to his parents' room and saw his naked mom and the woman next door. He thought they were wrestling and decided to join in.

Why is an orphan so scared of the dark?

They don't have a dad to check the closet.

If at first it doesn't succeed, try, try again.

Why can't Biden play chess?

Because he doesn't have the towers.

Why are Michael Jackson and caviar so much in common?

They both come on little white crackers.

Guess what song this is from:

"I'll cut you into little bitty pieces,

Or freeze you till your blood runs cold,

Or stab your till' you heart stops pumping.

I'm here to realize your wish from what I'm told."

Saying I'm sorry and I apologize are basically the same thing... except at a funeral.

How do you fit a baby into a shoebox?

A blender.

How do you get them out?

Tortilla chips.

I thought it was polite to open the door for a lady, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.

What do you call 2 Indians on a dating website? Connect the dots.