Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call an orphan's family picture? A self-portrait.
"Hey, hey, Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]
"Just looking for all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]
"How much have you found so far?"
"Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]
Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.
What's long and black?
The line to KFC.
Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!
Why does the basketball never get a date?
Because they dribble.
What is the one word orphans don’t know? Homework.
"DEEZ NUTS"
Bro, you can't talk; you look like the dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.
I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!
What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?
I beat both of them.
If you're happy and you know it, f*** your mom.
As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.
Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."
My Dad was mowing the grass today. I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sourpuss.
Bf: Hey, what ya doing?
Gf: Just lying in bed.
Bf: Just lying in bed?
Gf: And eating cereal.
Bf: Ha, nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you...?
Gf: Eat my cereal.
Bf: I mean if the cereal wasn't there.
Gf: I'd get out of bed and get more cereal.
Q: How did the skeleton know it would rain? A: He read the weather forecast.
What happens to a baby when you let it run loose? It can't cause it can't run yet.
This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?”
The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.”
So the boy said, “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”
When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?”
The boy replied, “Half way down my leg...”