Worst Jokes Ever
Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?
They don’t deserve rights!
Feminists think men hate them. MEN HATE FEMINIST KARENS. We already have equal rights. It wasn't always like that, but that was in the past. So, fuck feminists.
(Like if you hate feminists.)
Q. Why did the orphan rob a bank?
A. To feel wanted for the first fucking time.
What is an orphan's dad's job?
A magician because he makes himself disappear.
Why do orphans want to become criminals? To know what it feels like to be wanted.
What do you do when a Panera Bread panera breads?
Panera Bread.
Why can't orphans do homework? They don't have a home.
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
A gay couple walks into a Muslim bar. The tender flares up and says, “let me guess, a little blood on the rocks?”
What does an orphan call a family photo?
A wishlist.
What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
I have a problem. My dad and my girlfriend have the same birthday. So, one took my virginity, and the other is my girlfriend.
Why were Helen Keller's hands crippled?
From reading stop signs at fifty miles per hour.
I like dick.
Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up everything.
Why did Michael Jackson love melted chocolate? Because he could pour it on his cock, then get a prepubescent boy to suck it off.
When you hear your mom’s car pull in the driveway and you remember that she told you to take the chicken out of the freezer 7 hours ago.