There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"
The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
Worst Jokes Ever
What did the Twin Towers get when they ordered an extra large pepperoni pizza?
When the pizza man got there, all they got was plane.
If you are depressed, eat Panera Bread. It is so yummy yum yyum yum yum yum.
Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.
Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Feliz Navidad Prospero Ano y Felicidad.
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas From the bottom of my heart.
What is one plus one?
It's TOO hard!
Me: I just came home from Africa, and guess what I saw.
Friend: I don't know.
Me: A black market.
Why did Steven Hawking go to hell, not heaven?
Because there is a stairway to heaven, but there is not one to hell.
I saw a kid crying in the corner of the room and I said, "Are you OK? Where are your parents?" and he started crying even more.
I love working in an orphanage.
Yo mama's so fat, she woke up on both sides of the bed.
Roses are red. Sunflowers are yellow.
Your mom is so fat she looks like a marshmallow.
What do you call an emo committing suicide while filming it?
America’s Funniest Home Videos.
(lol)
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang the picture.
What is an army member's top drink?
WARter.
There will be no school shooter joke today in honor of the 10 people killed in the Colorado grocery store shooting. R.I.P.
What did Elon Musk do after sacking half of Twitter employees?
Raped an eight-year-old girl.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple!
Where did Suzy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
My ex.
Why do you only see girls in groups of 3, 5, 7, and 9?
Because they can’t even.
POV: You walk up to your short friend and say, "How is the weather down there?"
What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?
"Him and his dead family." :(
