Worst Jokes Ever

Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.

I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.

What's the difference between a road bump and children crossing the road?

A road bump will make you slow down when you drive over it.

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity, it's impossible to PUT DOWN!

Just give me my money (clap clap clap).

Why don’t rappers ever get lost?

They always have a SICK FLOW to follow.

Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?

Because good luck finding someone who’s always in the booth!

What did the green grape say to the purple one?

"Calm down and take a breath."

Yo mama so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.

Your mom #69.

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?

A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.

I've come to the conclusion that Trump is the fifth Teletubby.

He's fat, orange, and speaks in gibberish all the time.

On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.

On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Luke.

Luke who?

Luke through the keyhole and you’ll see.

Hello, it is the suicide line. Just keep hanging.

I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."

"But why?" I replied.

"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.

"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.

Gregg says to his friend, who is a girl, and says, "Hey, umm, do you, umm, want to do something?"

And the girl says, "Umm, sure, why not?"

Gregg says, "Well, then we have to go somewhere secretive."

The girl says, "Umm, well, ok."

Gregg says, "Great!" So Gregg brings Sally to a tree so no one can see them, and then Sally says, "So what are we going to do behind this big tree?"

Gregg says, "Well pull down your pants, and I'll show ya."

Sally says, "Ok, it sounds fun!" And then Gregg pulls his pants down and tells Sally to lay on the ground. Then he puts his dick in Sally's pussy, and he goes up and down, up and down, up and down, and then Sally starts to moan more and more, and then suddenly a teacher hears her moan, and then the teacher sees what Gregg and Sally are doing, and then the teacher gets in on it, and both Gregg and Sally start fucking the teacher, and then the teacher moans, and then the whole school makes their own sex groups, and the whole school has threesomes...

THE END

Ballz!

What's the difference between acne and the Pope?

Acne waits till you're 13 to cum on your face.