Worst Jokes Ever
Why does Michael Jackson wear a white glove?
So he won't bite his fingers when he eats a tootsie roll.
My mother didn't want me to love my sister. That made me angry. But then, one day I found this quote: "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Since that day, I fuck my sister hard and my MOM harder!
Q: What do orphans call a family reunion?
A: Me time.
Me: Calls 9-1-1.
Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?
Me: *hangs up*
I got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging.
Are you a keyboard? Cause you're my type.
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
What do maths and 9/11 have in common?
They both prove two parallel lines can be intercepted by a plane.
when is it normal to freeze before being raped?
when a policeman rapes you.
Yo mama's feet are so fat, she had to wear a sock on each toe.
I tried to tell an orphan a knock-knock joke, but sadly, there was no door to knock on.
Why doesn't a skeleton dance? Because he had no body to dance with. Lol, Sans.
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?
Because he has holes in his feet.
Your face is crustier than the Sahara Desert.
A man asked for poison and another man gave it to him. The first man took a sip and said, "hmmm, this tastes like arsenic." He took a sip of another and said, "hmmm, this tastes like cyanide. A very unpleasant taste that brings back memories."
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
Doctor: "I'm sorry, but you suffer from a terminal illness and only have 10 to live."
Patient: "What do you mean 10? 10 what? months? weeks?"
Doctor: "9, 8, 7..."
What do orphans call a family pic?
A selfie.
Why is it ok to smack an orphan?
What are they going to do? Tell their parents!