Worst Jokes Ever
Your legs are just like Oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat what's in between.
Like if you wanna have sex.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an emo bitch?
The Twin Towers hit the ground.
My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.
A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?
The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?
POV: You call the group of emos the "Suicide Squad."
I saw some twins, so I threw a paper plane at them.
What is a tornado's favorite game?
Twister!
Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?
It’s called "Maybe Dick."
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
Why did the frog take the train to work? His car got toad.
They call me Mr. Distracted, truly a spastic. Can't talk to my folks cause they say I'm pro- problematic. Really fantastic. Can't focus unless I take meds then it's magic. My brain is like traffic, always fucking active. But never at the right time, pretty fucking tragic it happens.
What makes an orphan jump?
A bridge.
What’s white and sticky and better to spit out than to swallow? Toothpaste.
What animal can jump the highest?
Emo kids because once they go up they never come back.
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
Ben: I don't know.
Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.
My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school.
So I had him bring my wife.
I have many jokes about unemployed people--sadly, none of them work.