Worst Jokes Ever

"What's your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir." "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."

If Donald Trump is running against Bill Clinton, it's safe to say that we are witnessing the Lolita Express Erections...oops, I mean Elections.

Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!

Why did the terrorist cross the road?

To get to the airport!

What does a priest and a clown have in common?

They both make children cry.

I was at work yesterday and I saw this kid crying. I went up to him and asked him where his parents were, and he started to cry even more. Gosh, don't you just love working at the orphanage?

I'm shocked about Donald Trump escaping the transgender accusations. Trump is more talkative than any of the popular girls I went to school with! Not to mention Trump's tweets...

I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.

Have you ever had sex camping?

It's inTENTS.

Mole

Serial killers be like: "Blood is red, veins are blue, next one is YOU."

Why did the plane cross the sky?

To hit the Twin Towers...

Hey, I misplaced 2.1 trillion a few days ago, on September 7th, 2001.

There is nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

If your blind girlfriend says you have a big cock, she's probably just pulling your leg.

Your mama's so fat, when she went to the movies, she sat next to everyone.

What do you call a group of depressed teens?

Suicide Squad.

Why do Imagine Dragons dream about mythical creatures?

Because they're believers.

What's red and white and goes 250 miles per hour?

A baby in a blender ;)

As a fellow emo, I find these very rude and disrespectful. Please take off, or I'll tell Mom.

Also, if anyone knows any high bridges nearby, please tell me (I'm asking for a friend).

P.S. I have no friends.