Worst Jokes Ever
Teacher: Alright class, let's sing our ABC's!
The gay kid: LGBTQRSTUVWXYZ
Signs my cousin is going places when he's older:
TEST QUESTION: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
He wrote: "At the bottom of the page."
Smart kid!
Bf: Do you love me?
Gf: Most of the time.
Bf: Well, it's either yes or no.
Gf:...
Bf: Well, when is it that you don't love me?
Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you go to the river an hour, then it takes me a half hour to love you again.
Bf: Why?
Gf: 'Cause you always see that OTHER GIRL.
Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!
Gf: Ohh...
What's the difference between my thighs and my eyebrows? Nothing, I slit both of them.
What's funny about dead baby jokes? - They never get old.
A fat man meets a skinny man.
The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."
And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."
What's Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?
A Double Manhattan.
(This is a fucked up pick up line). Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Humanity.
My brother called me short and ugly, so I called him an ambulance.
Why does Michael Jackson wear a white glove?
So he won't bite his fingers when he eats a tootsie roll.
Q: What do orphans call a family reunion?
A: Me time.
Me: Calls 9-1-1.
Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?
Me: *hangs up*
I got in trouble in school for leaving the depressed kid hanging.
Are you a keyboard? Cause you're my type.
Yo mama's feet are so fat, she had to wear a sock on each toe.
when is it normal to freeze before being raped?
when a policeman rapes you.
My mother didn't want me to love my sister. That made me angry. But then, one day I found this quote: "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Since that day, I fuck my sister hard and my MOM harder!
I tried to tell an orphan a knock-knock joke, but sadly, there was no door to knock on.