Worst Jokes Ever
How many Trump supporters does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, Trump says it is all done and they cheer in the dark.
What do maths and 9/11 have in common?
They both prove two parallel lines can be intercepted by a plane.
Why doesn't a skeleton dance? Because he had no body to dance with. Lol, Sans.
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?
Because he has holes in his feet.
Your face is crustier than the Sahara Desert.
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
Doctor: "I'm sorry, but you suffer from a terminal illness and only have 10 to live."
Patient: "What do you mean 10? 10 what? months? weeks?"
Doctor: "9, 8, 7..."
What do orphans call a family pic?
A selfie.
Why is it ok to smack an orphan?
What are they going to do? Tell their parents!
A man asked for poison and another man gave it to him. The first man took a sip and said, "hmmm, this tastes like arsenic." He took a sip of another and said, "hmmm, this tastes like cyanide. A very unpleasant taste that brings back memories."
Dark humor is like sex. Not everyone gets it.
Little Johnny walked in on his mom in the shower and said, "What's that on your chest, Mom?" Mom said, "Those are my headlights." Johnny: "Oh. What's that in between your legs, Mom?" Mom: "Oh, that's my bush." Johnny: "Oh, OK." Next, he walked in on his dad in the shower. He said, "Dad, what's that in between your legs?" Dad: "Oh, that's my snake." Johnny: "Oh, OK." That night, little Johnny walks in on his parents going at it and said, "Mom, turn on his headlights, there's a snake going in your bush!"
Why can't an orphan be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
Why did Peter Parker take Gwen Stacy to an orthopedist?
Because her neck was killing her.
A blonde walks in and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde asks, "That's it, how'd you know I was a blonde?"
The seller replies, "Because that's a microwave."
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because no one misses them.
Why can orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
Why can't orphans go big? When you go big, it's considered family size.