Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the student cannibal rush to the cafeteria?
He wanted to eat ahead of the others.
Why should you never give an orphan a phone?
Because they wouldn't be able to find the home button.
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
Why are women’s feet so small?
So they can stand closer to the sink.
What did the person with no hands get for Christmas?
He didn't open it yet.
A father tells his 10-year-old son...
"Sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on your cereal every morning and you will have a very long life."
His son followed his father's advice every morning without missing a day until he died at the age of 186, leaving behind 28 children, 67 grandchildren, 148 great-grandchildren, and a 7-foot crater where the crematory used to be.
A man walks into a restaurant. The waitress hands him a menu and it says: "Hot dog: $2, Hamburger: $5, Blowjob: $10."
He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
She says, "Yes, I am."
He tells her, "Good. Can you go wash your goddamn hands? Because I want a hot dog."
Knock knock.
Who is there?
WE WILL ASK THE QUESTIONS!
Kurt Cobain's last job was a blow job. He blew his head clean off.
I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak, and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.
Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
Yo mama so clueless, she sat on the TV to watch the couch.
What do women and Nvidia have in common?
They both do not make very good drivers.
Why aren't there any stray cats in Chinatown?
There are, but they're just listed as "pork" on the menus.
What did the bird say to the other bird?
Nothing, because birds can't talk.
Q: Why is China so bad at baseball?
A: They already ate the bat.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why did the farmer eat a fork?
'Cause he's a dumbass.
Hello, I am Sflugo. I am opening the Pro Orphan Joke Club because a lot of people are saying to get rid of them, but we say NO! If you want to join, comment and say, "#SaveOrphanJokes."
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably crash and burn.