Worst Jokes Ever
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
What's an orphan's favorite movie? "Going Home."
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"
U die from robot bite.
An orphan went on a game show.
The host looked at him and said, "You can't play, this is Family Feud."
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snowbank!
My grandpa and your hairline go way back.
Man: Knock, knock...
Boy: Who's there?
Man: Bear...
Boy: Bear who?
Man: Bear bottom.
Yo mama is so ugly, she is the reason Slenderman has no eyes.
Why did the tangerine copy off other people's work?
Because the tangerine was unORANGEinal!
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To get to the bottom.
I did a good job of being home from school.
What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?
A seatbelt.
What show would have made Michael Jackson a superstar for television? To Catch a Predator, for obvious reasons.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thought Shrek was ugly, until I saw you.
What do you call a person in America that is not a retard?
A foreign exchange student.
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
There's something on your chin, no, the third one down.
Who comes when an orphan gets married? They are allowed back in family restaurants, but when I go in alone, I'm not allowed. I have some parents, for God's sake!
Who crashed the plane?
1. Abu Faram? - terrorist
2. The little kid Joseph?
3. The passed out pilot?
Or Jamal?