Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Why does the orphan eat water with cereal?
Mom forgot to come back with the milk.
What did one sea say to the other sea? Nothing, it just waved.
What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?
Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? You're not dead.
My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.
Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.
My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot Pakistan has ever seen, Allahu Akbar!
I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the one behind it wasn't social distancing.
My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:
Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!
No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus terminal and a lobster with implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought Voldemort was ugly, but then I met you.
I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
Yo mama so fat, she can’t even fit in the living room!
What is Instagram called in USA?
Instaounce.
My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.
Why did the orphan dig six feet under?
To find his parents.
What's the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?
One is loved.
Why can’t orphans play poker? Because they don’t know what a full house is.