Worst Jokes Ever
Can't have a smoke with my girl after sex, she's asthmatic.
Plus, she's too young to smoke.
They are hairy.
My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.
What is Instagram called in USA?
Instaounce.
What's the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?
One is loved.
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"
When an orphan takes a selfie, is that its family photo?
When an orphan takes a selfie, is that their family photo?
What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur?
Lickalotapuss.
Why can’t orphans go to daughter and dad dance night? They don’t have a dad to go with.
I rang my boss and said, "I’m really sick. I won’t be coming into work." My boss said, "Davo, you're sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now?" I replied, "Well, I’m in bed with my sister!"
My Friend Evan: What happens if the voice inside your head is your soulmate?
Me: Then my soulmate is a F_cking A__hole.
I like CHEESE!
Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."
They will likely reply: "What's updog?"
To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"
My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:
Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!
No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
Yo mama slept with so many guys she's starting to look like one.
Epic gamer.
What did the owl that's a detective say?
"Hoo did it?"
Q: Why did the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz win an award?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.