Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her students were so bright!
Levon Aronian's wife died in a car crash. That's wheelie unfortunate.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t go home.
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
Q: Why did the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz win an award?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought Voldemort was ugly, but then I met you.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus terminal and a lobster with implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
Parents...
Why was 10 scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9 and 11.
What did one orphan say to another orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"
The "F" in "orphan" stands for family, but there is no "F" in "orphan."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can never get a home run.
What is Juan the junkmail dispenser's nickname? Spic and spam.
When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.
How many orphans can you fit in a bag of chips?
One, if the bag is family size.
Shorkey will find you in bed tonight, and he will eat you like my joke or else...
My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.
Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.