Worst Jokes Ever
When an orphan takes a selfie, is that their family photo?
What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur?
Lickalotapuss.
Why can’t orphans go to daughter and dad dance night? They don’t have a dad to go with.
When an orphan takes a selfie, is that its family photo?
Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."
They will likely reply: "What's updog?"
To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
Yo mama slept with so many guys she's starting to look like one.
Epic gamer.
What did the owl that's a detective say?
"Hoo did it?"
What did one sea say to the other sea? Nothing, it just waved.
The only difference between apples and orphans is apples actually get picked.
What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Every joke I make about 9/11 just has a tendency to crash and burn.
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her students were so bright!
A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the one behind it wasn't social distancing.
How do you kill time?
Easy! Taking alarm clock and an assault rifle.
I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.